Monday, July 27, 2015

Truly Terrible Jokes

Funny Jokes (FREE Joke Book Download Included!): 125+ Hilarious Jokes (Funny and Hilarious Joke Book for Children)Funny Jokes (FREE Joke Book Download Included!): 125+ Hilarious Jokes by Johnny B. Laughing
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The other day the family went out for dinner together and my niece decided to entertain us with jokes, which I thought would be AWESOME!

Unfortunately, her jokes suck.

She's five, she just started school and she needs help, as I am of the opinion that all right-thinking kindergarteners should know at least a few ham-fisted knock-knock jokes. So, I commenced a dinnertime lesson in hilarity....only to discover I actually didn't know any jokes. I tried the old "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" classic and f-ed it up. I needed help.

This led me to Johnny B. Laughing's Funny Jokes: 125+ Hilarious Jokes. You know you're in good hands with an author with a surname like that! Dude must've been born funny! At least you'd think so, but this book is filled with some real duds...

Q: Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head!

Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit?
A: A ducktor.

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?
A: Something that stinks and stings!

In fairness, there are a few good 'uns...

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!

Q: What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?
A: Where in the earth have you been?

Q: Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
A: Never mind, it stinks.

By the time I finished I was inspired to pen one of my own off the top of my head...

Q: What's a monkey's favorite letter?
A: Eeee-Eeee!


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A Gaiman Book That Doesn't Feel Very Gaimany

InterWorld (Interworld, #1)InterWorld by Neil Gaiman
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I didn't know what to expect. Once I knew, I expected more. I got less.

Interworld is the coming-of-age story of a boy finding himself, quite literally. Joey Harker is your typical kid, whose main concern is a certain girl and popularity at school. He comes off fairly average, but the way he's written, you're never sure if he's smart or stupid. Whatever the case, he sure did know a lot of pop culture references through out the ages, regardless of his own age and point of reference, so I would have to guess that he spends all of his time gathering useless knowledge that a kid his age normally wouldn't know. That isn't really touched on in the book.

Everything seems normal, until SUDDENLY occasionally bad writing with adverbs and such force the plot and Joey into a world where science (or pseudo-science) and magic are thrust together, supposedly in many forms, through out a multi-dimensional universe. Countless possibilities exist on an infinite number of planes...yet the survival of everyone and everything falls into the hands of one boy and his misfit band of buddies. Of course it does. What is everyone else doing? Why don't they lend a hand? I mean, there is quite a lot at stake here, their own existence for one. Meh, let's sweep that under the rug. Ain't nobody got time for that!

So, Joey and his pals fight the baddies with special powers and it's all supposed to be very exciting, but it's not. I've read worse, but seldom do I care less and just want to get through with a book.

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