Whimsy and Soda

Whimsy & Soda by Matthew David Brozik
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Whimsy & Soda is a collection of bizarre Jeeves and Wooster pastiches.

By and By, Bertie: Bertie wakes up from a bender at the Drones club to find he's a parrot. Can Jeeves return him to normal?

The opening tale sets the tone for the collection. Brozik does a great job of capturing Wooster's voice and Jeeves' mannerisms.

G.E.V.E.: Jeeves goes on vacation, leaving Bertie in the care of a robot butler. Will Bertie survive without Jeeves to get him out of the soup?

G.E.V.E. is a funny little tale. I loved that Rossum was his creator.

A Scandal in Bohemia: The King of Bohemia is being blackmailed by Irene Adler and comes to Bertie for assistance. Good thing Jeeves has been eating more fish than usual...

Jeeves cracks this case a lot quicker than Sherlock Holmes.

Bertie Wooster and the Offer of Admission: On his 11th birthday, Bertie Wooster gets invited to attend Frogparts academy.

Heh. Wooster could have been Harry Potter.

A Bertie of Very Little Brain: Fresh from a jaunt in Narnia, Wooster and Jeeves get saddled watching a familiar boy and his familiar teddy bear.

I knew where this was going when the author's name was A.A. Moon but it was still a fun little tale.

Bertie and Earnest: Bertie shares an apartment at 123 Sesame Street.

I never would have imagined a Wooster-Sesame Street crossover but it works.

Jeeves Your Own Adventure: A choose your own adventure starring you as Jeeves.

This one ended with me driving off without Wooster so I'm counting it as a win.

Back to the Wooster: Doctor Emmett Brown shows up at Wooster's door. Hilarity and time paradoxes ensue.

Great stuff. I love that Wodehouse himself is thrown into the mix.

Jeeves and the Immovable Object: Aunt Dahlia hires a scrivener to transcribe a manuscript and finds he won't leave the office once his job is done. Can Jeeves get rid of him?

Jeeves and Wooster go up against Bartleby, the Scrivener. Good stuff.

Ix-nay on the Roadway: Jeeves and Bertie pick up an odd pedestrian who was almost hit by a car.

Ford Prefect!

Jeeves and W--: Jeeves goes to Gotham City to attend to a certain millionaire playboy.

Yup. Jeeves and Batman.

The Painting of Bertram Wooster: The Jeeves and Wooster version of The Picture of Dorian Gray.

This review's gripping conclusion: I dug this collection as a hole. The stories captured the flavor of Jeeves and Wooster shorts while stirring in an extra dollop of weirdness. I'd like to see Brozik write another collection.



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Lost Interest in The Lost Spy

The Lost Spy: An American in Stalin's Secret Service by Andrew Meier
Review by Jason Koivu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Lost Spy: An American in Stalin's Secret Service is a far more titillating title that what's between the covers.

This is the story of Isaiah Oggins, American/Russian Jew with Communist ideals and sympathies for the plight of oppressed workers. Very little is known about him, especially after he went underground overseas to work as a Communist spy. Oggins' wife is just as interesting and much of the book revolves around her story. It also spends a large number of pages on their sickly and crippled son Robin, a stamp collector and scholar who spent 40 years of his life studying medieval falconry...40 years of his life studying medieval falconry.

Everything about Oggins is/was/is hush-hush. He was a spy prior to WWII, he was a captive during the Cold War, and when the Americans showed interest in re-Patriating him, he was seen as too valuable and possibly damaging to the Soviet cause to be released. Like any spy, his operations were kept under wraps. When the USSR fell and their vast secret files were left open to the eyes of the world, some information was garnered. Then Russia went back to its old ways, closed the doors again and much spy-craft information from the period was once again hidden from view. No doubt certain governments obtained all the necessary info, but they're certainly not going to tip their hand for the likes of some random journalist looking to write a biography.

Perhaps the material is so lacking that nobody should've bothered attempting a book on the subject. Even as scant as the available material is, it still could've been handled better in more deft hands. For instance, there's a whole lotta flash backs and flash forwards goin' on here. Some heighten the tension and suspense, while some give away the ending and spoil what little thrill this story possesses.
[ This from Oggins' Wiki page gives you all you essentially get out of this book:

Isaiah Oggins (also known as Ysai or Cy) (July 22, 1898 - 1947) was an American-born communist and spy for the Soviet secret police. After working in Europe and the Far East, Oggins was arrested, served eight years in the GULAG detention system, and was summarily executed on the orders of Joseph Stalin.

The reader is left to assume all the possible or even probable nefarious dealings Oggins undertook. However, at least at the start of his career, all he seemed to do was house-sit. Him and his wife would go undercover as Americans living aboard and act as cover by renting out an apartment that could be used by the real agents doing the dirty work, none of which of course is detailed in the book. So yeah...not exactly riveting, 007 kind of reading here. (hide spoiler)]

The Lost Spy will be of interest almost solely to those who delve deeper than than average joe into the world of underground intelligence, and even they'll be hard-pressed to find this ho-hum book more than mildly satisfying.

Alhazred

Alhazred: Author of the Necronomicon by Donald Tyson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

When Abdul Alhazred gets his lover, the daughter of the king, pregnant, he's forced to eat the roasted fetus, along with his own genitals. Mutilated and near death, he is left to die in the Empty Space, the great desert. But that is only the beginning of his journey to becoming the greatest necromancer in existence...

After reading Tales of Alhazred, I jumped at the chance to read this. Much like the time I drank a twelve pack of Angry Orchard, it was too much of a good thing.

Since I read Tales of Alhazred first, this book had a lot to live up to. Sure enough, it chronicled his meetings with Martala and Altrus, as well as his mutilation. Things hinted at in the collection of short stories were given life, like Alhazred's time with the ghouls.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. How could I not with its mixture of swords & sorcery and the Cthulhu mythos? Alhazred learns from a wide variety of teachers and gets into a wide variety of adventures. So why did I only give it a three?

It was too damn long! This could have easily been two or even three books. I feel like Cthulhu rose from his eternal slumber and went back to sleep in the time I was reading it. There were a lot of times I yearned for something major to happen. It probably would have worked best as a collection or two of short stories rather than the never-ending tale of wandering around the Middle East.

Three stars. I didn't like it as much as Tales of Alhazred but I'll read more of Alhazred's adventures at some point.

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Crippled America: How to Make America Great Again

Donald J. Trump
Threshold Editions
Reviewed by Nancy
3 out of 5 stars

Summary

Look at the state of the world right now. It’s a terrible mess, and that’s putting it mildly. There has never been a more dangerous time. The politicians and special interests in Washington, DC, are directly responsible for the mess we are in. So why should we continue listening to them?

It’s time to bring America back to its rightful owners—the American people.

I’m not going to play the same game politicians have been playing for decades—all talk, no action, while special interests and lobbyists dictate our laws. I am shaking up the establishment on both sides of the political aisle because I can’t be bought. I want to bring America back, to make it great and prosperous again, and to be sure we are respected by our allies and feared by our adversaries.

It’s time for action. Americans are fed up with politics as usual. And they should be! In this book, I outline my vision to make America great again, including: how to fix our failing economy; how to reform health care so it is more efficient, cost-effective, and doesn’t alienate both doctors and patients; how to rebuild our military and start winning wars—instead of watching our enemies take over—while keeping our promises to our great veterans; how to ensure that our education system offers the resources that allow our students to compete internationally, so tomorrow’s jobseekers have the tools they need to succeed; and how to immediately bring jobs back to America by closing our doors to illegal immigrants, and pressuring businesses to produce their goods at home.

This book is my blueprint for how to Make America Great Again. It’s not hard. We just need someone with the courage to say what needs to be said. We won’t find that in Washington, DC.

My Review

I believe all politicians are liars and more concerned about their own careers than they are about their supporters, so I find reading these types of books a waste of time. I also generally lean to the left politically, although my views on certain issues may be considered centrist, or even right.

So I walked out of the library quietly, not making any eye contact with anyone, with this book surreptitiously tucked away in my jacket. When I got to my car, I tucked it under a plastic grocery bag, lest someone see it and vandalize my car.

While I’m mostly feeling the Bern, there are some things I actually like about Trump.

- He’s a successful businessman. Even though he has no political experience, he knows about running companies, managing people, and focusing on the big picture. He is also influential enough that he can get people to help him in those areas where he lacks knowledge.

- OK, I agree he’s crass, arrogant, and narcissistic, but I like that he’s challenging the stifling political correctness that hinders intelligent debates and instills fear in those who have opinions counter to prevailing wisdom.

- He has enough money not to have to rely on special interest groups.

- I believe he sincerely loves America and wants the best for it.

So read this book, or not. Aside from pontificating on his greatness, he actually says things that make sense and I can stand behind.

And there’s a cute picture of him as a little boy with blond hair and plump, kissable lips.

Eagle in Exile

Eagle in Exile: The Clash of Eagles Trilogy Book II by Alan Smale
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

In the aftermath of the attack on Cahokia by the Iroqua, Gaius Marcellinus finds himself once again grieving over lives lost because of his decisions. While he grieves he realizes every Hesperian life lost weakens their chances of survival when Roman armies return. Gaius is committed to do whatever he physically can to protect Cahokia from all threats, especially Roma.

Eagle in Exile is in many ways the typical middle book in a series. There is a lot of setup, the pacing is slow, and many of the events don't feel all that meaningful. In many ways this book has made Gaius the Wanageeska into a Paul Revere of sorts going from place to place exclaiming, The Romans are coming, The Romans are coming. That's to be expected because that's undoubtedly one of the major points of the book, but that took the forefront for far too much of the book.

While I enjoy the concept of the book and some of the execution, there were some things that just bothered me. The primary point that bugged me is how Gaius could learn to love the people who slaughtered his friends and soldiers. I just don't understand how he could so deeply appreciate them after what they did to his legion.

The other point that bothered me is Sintikala and Gaius's budding relationship. I didn't think Gaius's interest was established well in the prior book and no additional time was spent in explaining why they clearly have feelings for one another.

The last quarter or so of Eagle in Exile was spilling over with excitement for me. The events at the ending really kept me engaged and interested. Despite significant tension and uncertainty, the events played out in a believable and enjoyable way. I really appreciated that because the author could have easily chosen quick unbelievable ways for the story to continue, but he faced the events of the book head on rather than slinking away.

Eagle in Exile was a solid sequel and I imagine fans of Clash of Eagles will enjoy it.

2.5 out of 5 stars

I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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A Crown for Cold Silver

A Crown for Cold Silver by Alex Marshall
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Famed General Cobalt Zosia led her army into battle and overthrew an empire twenty years ago. Once there was nothing else to accomplish or conquer, she retired and faded into legend.

Now Zosia's husband and village were destroyed for no reason. She heads out to avenge her loved ones.

A Crown for Cold Silver quickly proved it was not a book for me. The writing style felt dull and uninspired. The characters were hardly believable and I didn't have any clue of what was happening in the world. I enjoy books where I can connect and relate with the characters, but such characters were absent for me.

I unfortunately didn't find any aspect of the book that caught my interest. The name choices were strange as well and I found myself guessing at how the majority of them were pronounced.

I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

1 out of 5 stars

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MONEYBALL BY MICHAEL LEWIS

Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game by Michael Lewis
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

“The pleasure of rooting for Goliath is that you can expect to win. The pleasure of rooting for David is that, while you don’t know what to expect, you stand at least a chance of being inspired.”



This book came out in 2003, and the movie version came out in 2011; yet, it is amazing to me that despite the success shown by the Oakland As under the guidance of Billy Beane, baseball, for the most part, is still focusing on the wrong things. Just recently the manager of the New York Mets, Terry Collins, who commands one of the best teams in the world, said in an interview after the World Series:

“I’m not sure how much an old-school guy can add to the game today,’’ Collins told USA Today. “It’s become a young man’s game, especially with all of the technology stuff you’ve got to be involved in. I’m not very good at it. I don’t enjoy it like other people do. I’m not going to sit there today and look at all of these (expletive) numbers and try to predict this guy is going to be a great player. OPS this. OPS that. GPS. LCSs. DSDs. You know who has good numbers? Good (expletive) players.”


Terry Collins said: “Shit Happens” at a press conference. Billy Beane must have rolled his eyes.

The MLB network show Hot Stove was incensed that Collins would make such a statement in this day and age, especially since they could track several “gut” decisions he made during the World Series that probably cost them a chance to win it. The most glaring error was when he decided to pull the pitcher, Matt Harvey, in the 9th inning of game five only to change his mind and send him back out there after Harvey complained. Collins looked into the player’s eyes and saw what he wanted to see. It was the third time through the order. Harvey had pitched brilliantly, but statistically, that bad word that Collins doesn’t like. When you look at the Royals, they get to pitchers late. The Royals got to Harvey and knocked him out of the game, which left a mess for Jeurys Familia to come into the game to try and save.

Royals Win!

Eric Hosmer going off the Billy Beane script for success, but man, was it dramatic. I about had a heartattack.

The Royals deviate from Billy Beane ball at many junctures. One being the most dramatic play of the series when Eric Hosmer steals home. Beane does not believe in stealing bases, too risky, and if you steal a base on a Billy Beane team, you better make sure you are safe. The Royals also occasionally bunt to move a runner, which doesn’t fit the Beane philosophy. He believes in managing outs and never giving up an out to advance a runner. The Royals have speedy wheels and frequently turn bunts into base hits, which would probably keep them from finding themselves subjugated to a Billy Beane lecture. You can go off script, but just be right.

The Royals are a homegrown team. Most of the players have come from the farm club system, although they are a bit too athletic and good looking for a Billy Beane ball club. One of the things that Beane talks about is getting away from players who could sell jeans. He should know; he was one of those players that looked like a Greek God in a uniform. He was drafted in 1980 along with another phenom that even those people who don’t follow baseball probably recognize his name...Darryl Strawberry. Beane was an interesting enough prospect that, for a while, the Mets were even considering taking him in the draft first instead of Strawberry. Both were amazing specimens of what we want athletes to look like. The Mets ended up taking Beane, too, but with the 23rd pick. Beane had all the physical gifts to be successful, but sports is not just about the body; it is about the mind. Billy had a lot of expectations for himself, and those expectations became insecurities that eventually evolved into a gifted player being unable to play the game.


Billy Beane on the verge of a stardom that somehow eluded him. He is exactly the player who Billy now tries to avoid.

He asked for a job in the As front office, and that began an odyssey in search of those players who were ”ballplayers”, not pretty head cases, not players that hit home runs and created RBIs, but players that could control the strike zone. As he tore apart the As organization, he got rid of the scouts who were still insisting on signing Apolloesque ballplayers and sold off overpriced talent. Ownership wasn’t giving him much money to work with anyway, so instead of buying expensive talent, he had to sell expensive talent and replace it with a motley group of players whom no one else wanted, but who had the one important element he wanted most, OPS (on base plus slugging), i.e. these guys knew how to get on base.

These players had a menagerie of interesting things wrong with them that had other clubs looking to get rid of them, which made them perfect for Billy Beane. One pitcher had club feet. They were below average fielders. They were overweight. They threw sidearm pitches. They were older players on their way out. They were players too green for any other team to consider playing them.

You can’t win with players like this!

Well, maybe you can. Exhibit A: The standings at the end of the season in the American League West in 2002.

Wins Losses Games Behind Payroll
Oakland 103 59 ---- $41,942,665
Anaheim 99 63 4 $62,757,041
Seattle 93 69 10 $86,084,710
Texas 72 90 31 $106,915,180

Now the interesting thing is notice the payroll compared to the wins. The more money a team spent the fewer games they won. If I had been the Texas Rangers owner, I’d be looking at these results and think to myself, What am I paying for?

Baseball is in love with RBIs and Home Runs. They think those are the things about baseball that put butts in seats. As the Royals made their way through the playoffs in the American league in 2015, they encountered two teams that depended on the home run to win ball games. The Royals hit 95 home runs in 2014, which placed them dead last at 30th among major league baseball teams. In 2015, they improved to 139 home runs, but were still 24th in the league. Their opponent in the playoffs in 2015, the Toronto Blue Jays, were 1st in all of major league baseball with 232 home runs. Their other opponent, the Houston Astros, hit 230 home runs and were second in the league for home runs.


Jose Bautista hit several dramatic home runs in the playoffs, including the famous bat flip home run, but despite those fence clearing bombs, they were unable to advance in the playoffs.

Jacking up home runs might equal playoffs, but it doesn’t seem to equal winning world championships.

Even the Mets hit 177 home runs for 9th in the league. They did win the pennant, but still fell short of winning a world championship. To my eye, they are a more complete offensive ballclub than Houston or Toronto and will be contenders again this year, but not because they hit a lot of home runs.

So why is major league baseball so reluctant to embrace the philosophy of Moneyball? ”Anti-intellectual resentment is common in all of American life and it has many diverse expressions.” For instance, preferring high school players in the draft over college players, even though statistically college players do better. College athletes have played against stiffer competition. They have honed their skills. They have more reliable stats to give a general manager a better clue to how they will perform at the next level.

I admire the Mets. They are a terrific team. I still have a lot of nostalgia for Gary Carter and the Miracle Mets of 1986, and if the Royals hadn’t been playing against them last year, I would have been rooting for them in the World Series. I have to say that Terry Collins’ comments about basically comparing statistics to voodoo was disappointing to me. I don’t mean to pick on Collins, but his comments came after he made several decisions in the face of a pile of data to the contrary that probably cost his team at least a better chance to win the World Series. He is not alone. Baseball is still filled with owners, GMs, and managers who believe that home runs and RBIs are the most important statistics and the best way to win championships.

The Royals, after all, are an anomaly, right?

It was the same things teams were saying about the As in the early 2000s.

I think of all those ballplayers who really know how to play the game, who are stuck in the minor leagues because they hit too many singles or walked too many times, and didn’t launch enough missiles over the back fence.

I loved this book because I’m a fan of baseball, but the book had a much bigger impact on me. I started thinking about and applying Billy Beane principles to my own business. We are a company mired in traditions and traditional thinking and long overdue for an overhaul in philosophy to meet new challenges. Like all companies, we need to become more efficient, more lean, more targeted to what wins ball games rather than what creates a big splash. I’m buying copies of this book for the rest of the management staff, and we are going to talk about singles and doubles and managing our outs. Maybe we, too, can get our Royal on.

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Black Science Vol 1 How to Fall Forever

Black Science, Vol. 1: How to Fall Forever by Rick Remender
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I couldn't tell you what this story was about to save my fucking life, this comic to me is strictly for the art, and OH MY LLOYD at the art. It is kind of like Lost in Space listened to a bunch of 70's prog and took acid and made this book and that my friends ALONE is a glorious reason to read this.

It is actually a super fun romp through the multiverse and one bizarre world after another, I usually don't go this route but buy it in trade, it flows better that way.

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Staked The Iron Druid Chronicles #8 By: Kevin Hearne

Staked by Kevin Hearne
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

First of all this will be a very opininated review. I like urban fantasy or just fantasy as this could be classified as, and this is one of my FAVORITE series, I drop books to read new Iron Druid books, and I loved this installment, great characters, a great story, heaps of mythology which I am a total slut for, and its JUST FUCKING FUN.

I have a minor complaint and its mostly me, the female lead eventhough I Love me some redheads, for lack of better words, is a bit overpowered in most senses of the word but a minor nick in a great series.

Go buy them all, give Kevin Hearne your money.

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A Collection of Children's Books

Paddington by Michael Bond
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

* * * The following three books were read & reviewed by me & my niece Emma * * *

A classic for the ages!...that completely fell on deaf ears.

Perhaps the issue is that the ears are new and not British? I thought this would be a grand hit with my young niece, but it turned out to be a dud. She couldn't get through it quick enough. Granted, there was a swimming pool awaiting with her name on it, but still, I don't think this book would've gone over well even without the extraneous distraction.

I was quite looking forward to it, having never read this famed story, but even I have to admit it plodded along rather slowly and with little reward. My British-born friends laughingly call me more "British" than them and since everything about Paddington Bear is very Britishy (even though the bear himself comes from Darkest Peru), I still had to concede to Emma's obvious boredom. Mishaps with tea time jam were the most enjoyment we could wring from this and it just wasn't cutting the mustard...however, if it cut the cheese we would've been rolling on the floor in stitches.

Never has Emma pressured me to skip lines and whole pages quite like she did with Paddington, so the needle on the Emma-o-meter never got remotely close to "amused".



Journey by Aaron Becker
My rating: 5 of 5 stars



We LOVED Journey!!! We loved everything about it!

Usually reading time is an Emma and me thing, but even Tita Cherry (my wife/Emma's aunt) got in on this one. All three of us sat around the dining room table, not reading the wordless pages, yet fully enthralled by this wonderful adventure of a girl escaping loneliness and the doldrums of daily life with a stick of magic chalk. She draws up a boat or magic carpet or whatever, and off we go into a fantastical land of fairy forests, castles and steampunky airships. We excitedly guessed what the girl was drawing next and lingered lovingly over the lavish illustrations, reveling in the merest of details.

This book isn't an entirely original idea, but it is very well executed. The scenes are vibrant. The full spread, and sometimes double spread illustrations are highly detailed. And yet, the funny thing is, much of this is in drab colors. A vivid red is used to indicate the magic items the girl has drawn. Otherwise nothing more than a touch of gold here or a highlighted gleam of light there are used to transform the dull landscape into something living and vaguely mysterious.

Emma isn't terribly sexist (on the other hand just recently she started a "NO BOYS ALLOWED!" club, though I think that was set up in hopes of luring in the boys with reverse psychology), but the fact that the main character is a girl might have increased her interest in Journey. I know I was happy to see a girl as the hero of the story, taking matters into her own hands, going on adventures, etc. I don't think the world needs another wallflower girl, so anything that nudges Emma away from the shy, second class citizenship so many women are cast into is all right by me!





Dragon Quest by Mary Tillworth
My rating: 3 of 5 stars



When Emma held this up and said she wanted to get it from the other end of the kids' section, I thought it said "Drag Queen" at first glance. I don't think I can be blamed. I mean, look at that fairy on the cover!

Luckily I was mistaken. Unluckily the reality is just as bad. The fairy is beyond Barbie. Her body shape is ridiculous. The eyeliner, mini-skirt and heels all make her seem more prepared for clubbing rather than questing. Fine. I've seen Bratz and its like before. I know modern animators are making even toddler characters into full-lipped, buxom mannequins. But I really was not okay with the level of coquettishness the fairy was displaying in this book. Too many vacant, finger-to-the-lip stares are used to show her "thinking". Too many knock-kneed girly stances to show defenseless vulnerability for a girl who can shoot fireballs.

The dragons were drawn pretty scary though. Yep, that's all I can say about it.

Emma liked it. Of course she would, it's what she's being brought up upon. Bugs Bunny in drag was the most sexual my cartoons got. This is a whole other world.

Reading level wise, this is listed as a "Step 2". Emma, 6 and heading into 1st grade soon, fought her way through half the book before tiring, at which point I took over and finished this damn thing as fast as I could.

I won't give Dragon Quest a low rating just because I don't approve of the minxy main character. The little girl this was aimed at liked the story well enough, though even she was all that excited about it.

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