Bare-Bones Western

Gun Boss of Tumbleweed by L. Ron Hubbard
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Oh boy was that ever bad! I'm not even Scientology-bashing here, this was just not good.

Gun Boss of Tumbleweed is one of L. Ron Hubbard's MANY adventure stories. Looking at his extensive bibliography makes you think, wow, this guy was one prolific writer! However, if most of his output is of this quality and length, pffft, it ain't no thang.

What we have here is a formulaic western of first draft-quality, speckled with adverbs and the stank of short-cut writing. One of my favorite snort-laugh moments came when Hubbard delivered a line that went something like:

"Well," he said briefly...

Granted, I've written some bad stuff, especially when I'm racing through the first draft, just getting it down on paper. However, the idea is to go back and edit that shit. Sometimes I miss a line here or there, but usually the whole book isn't littered with the stuff.

The over-the-top characters speak equally over-the-top lines. Their names and most of what comes out of their mouths is ridiculous. Also, this was an audiobook (little over an hour's length) and some of the performances were terrible. Poorly acted bad dialogue did not help this book's cause.

To be fair and kind, I was tempted to give this two stars, because as predictable and hackneyed as it was, it still had some fun moments and an occasionally nice "old west" setting descriptive.

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Hondo Don't Take No Guff!...Ma'am.

Hondo by Louis L'Amour
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'd just finished a terrible western and needed to get the taste out of my mouth. Louis L'Amour to the rescue!

Hondo Lane is a man's man. He's a half-breed drifter. He's a loner who's never alone, because he is at one with the hardscrabble land of the old west.

Is an abandoned and soon-to-be-widowed woman and her young son just the sort of temptation to lure Hondo into a tied-to-the-homestead existence? And what of the restless Apache's in the area? Hondo is nominally attached to the white man's military scouting party, who is suddenly at odds with the indians once again. Can Hondo be the peacemaker or will he just end up another piece in the U.S.'s westward push?

All of these questions and more are answered, some satisfactorily and some are left intentionally vague, gray areas under the impossibly blue skies of the mid-1800s southwest.

Great descriptions, good action and colorful characters abound in Hondo, one of L'Amour's most famous works. There are times when you the reader feel as if you're right there in the middle of the parched landscape, hunkered down between two boulders expecting attack at any moment. At other times, the boredom and languor of such an isolated life takes ahold of you for better or worse.

Not everything between the covers of this book is well-written. Some of it is a bit pulpy. Some of it is a bit misogynistic. Most heinous of all, some of it is just dull. L'Amour could set a western scene with the best of them, but sometimes that didn't translate to good reading. Descriptions of the desert or prairie could go on too long.

Despite its failings, Hondo is a classic tough-guy western that will probably be enjoyed by anyone still reading this review.


Rating: This falls somewhere in the 3.5 to 4 range for me. Figured I'd give it the benefit of the fourth star since the reading experience was mostly enjoyable.

Side Note: My first guitar was made by Hondo, a guitar company named after the John Wayne movie based on this book. My guitar was as big and cantankerous as Wayne, but I was 15, in love with playing the guitar and the unwieldy thing was mine, so of course I loved it!

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Red Dwarf RPG

Red Dwarf RPG by Todd Downing
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Confession Time: There was a point in my life when Red Dwarf was unquestionably my favorite show. I've seen every episodes, some at least ten times. Way back in 2003, I chanced upon this at the Fantasy Shop and snapped it up. After all, there isn't much Red Dwarf merchandise to be found on this side of the pond, especially in those days. However, I never read it from cover to cover until now. My gaming group was strictly Dungeons and Dragons and I couldn't get them interested.

This is a pretty slick little RPG. The system is very simple and I'm fairly confident I could run a game after just skimming the rules. As the book says several times, the system is there to support the setting, not vice versa. Add your skill number and the relevant attribute and roll under that number using 2d6. Easy peasy.

Beyond the streamlined rules, the book contains stats for damn near every character, device, and ship seen on the show, even Talky Toaster. There are Mad-Lib like tables for whipping up adventures and all sorts of random adventure aids. The player options are fairly broad. Besides human, you can play an evolved pet, wax droid, simulant, hologram, Kinatawawi, Pleasure GELF, and various mechanoids.

The writing is really clear, which is awesome since most RPGs read like stereo instructions written in an alien language. It's also peppered with quotes from the show and dry British wit, making it easily the funniest RPG manual ever written.

I still probably won't find a group to play Red Dwarf with but based on the manual, I'm giving it four out of five stars.

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The Courage to Heal

Hunter Frost
JMS Books, LLC
Reviewed by Nancy
4 out of 5 stars

Summary

Former U.S. Army Sergeant Wade Carter returned from Afghanistan a broken man. Permanently injured and weighed down with PTSD, his scars run deeper than flesh and bone. When his regular physical therapist is taken ill, the sexy replacement doctor has Wade wishing he'd touch much more of his body than his busted leg.


Dr. Jesse Okenah isn't a beginner when it comes to working with veterans, but his new patient stirs up feelings that go beyond professional. It's Wade's wounded soul, more than his mangled leg, that needs TLC in order for him to live a healthy, fulfilling life again. Jesse just needs to figure out how to deliver that care to the stubborn vet without crossing a line -- and losing his heart.

My Review

In real life, so many moral, ethical, and legal complications can arise if professional and personal relationships take place simultaneously, particularly when sex becomes involved. I’m sure Dr. Jesse Okenah, a physical therapist, violated all kinds of rules by becoming involved with his client, Wade Carter, a wounded Afghanistan veteran suffering from PTSD. While this type of relationship may be frowned upon in real life, I enjoy reading about them in my romances and get a frisson of excitement when I think about the consequences and possibilities in such a union.

This is the third story I’ve read by Hunter Frost, and I love how she creates fresh, memorable characters, adding warmth and sweetness to their stories without an overload of sugar.

While much of this story is focused on Wade’s and Jesse’s developing relationship, we also get glimpses of Jesse’s devotion to his profession, the physical progress Wade makes while under his care, and the trust that gradually develops. Wade’s PTSD was realistically portrayed and a challenge to his relationship with Jesse, but he has a wonderful supportive mom.

As much as I loved this story, and felt it was the length it needed to be, there is so much more to explore that its short length didn’t allow.

GIL'S ALL FRIGHT DINER BY A. LEE MARTINEZ

Gil's All Fright Diner by A. Lee Martinez
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

”Loretta outweighed him by at least a hundred pounds. Nonetheless, Sheriff Kopp held his ground with the courage of a man who had seen sheep explode spontaneously and lived to clean himself up later.”

Any apocalypse is about living to tell about it, right? The interesting thing about this small community is that spontaneously exploding sheep aren’t the strangest things that happen.

When Duke and Earl saw the glowing sign of Gil’s All Night Fright Diner appear, they had no idea they were about to stumble into a vortex of hell. They couldn’t have been more in the middle of dark nowhere if they had just driven up the ass end of a giant troll. All Duke wanted was a big greasy meal, but what he got was a full order of zombies with a side order of a horny, lascivious waitress. ”She wore a T-shirt and jean cutoffs that hugged her jiggling behind, but only barely. Cellulite rolled down her legs in flapping waves with each step. A soiled apron stretched across her immense breasts. Her hair, a frazzled bleached-blonde mess, slung to the left of her face and past her shoulders. She smiled, revealing teeth the size and color of corn kernels.”

Duke didn’t know which was more dangerous...the zombies or Loretta.

Now Gil, the owner of the diner, just disappeared. Loretta had taken it upon herself to keep the diner open, despite the infestation of zombies. She had killed well over a hundred already and figured sooner or later the graveyard down the road was going to run out of bodies. Duke was particularly adept at tearing apart zombies. It brought out the wolf in him, or should I say the werewolf in him.

What?

Oh, yeah, Duke had himself an encounter with a lycanthrope, which left him with a predisposition for back hair and the strength of ten men. Rotting corpses were just giant toothpicks. Now, his buddy Earl had a different problem. I’ll give you a couple of hints. He liked to drink blood, and a sunburn was deadly to him.

For $100 and all the beer they could drink, Loretta just hired herself some supernatural help for her supernatural problem.

The problem all originated with a bored seventeen year old named Tammy, who decided the vortex to hell swirling beneath Gil’s Diner was just too interesting to leave alone. She had a Magic 8 ball which was a little different than the one I used to have. Mine didn’t have a trapped, malevolent spirit inside who just happened to be addicted to the show Bonanza. Little Miss Tammy was of Japanese descent, exotic in this small town, and pert and curvy in all the right places. She was fully aware of the impact she had on the opposite sex and what better way to recruit male minions to your dark, magic ways than to dangle the black triangle.

To add a bit more stir fry to this sizzling skillet, there was also a pretty, very needy, spirit who proved a distraction for Earl, along with her ghostly Scottish Terrier who played hell with the musty, dusty ankles of zombies. Will all these supernormal phantasmic creatures prove to be an equal match for one pissed off, power hungry, diabolical teenager?

You’ll just have to read it to find out.

I had intended to read this for Halloween, but the best laid plans of ghouls and goblins foiled my time schedule. I also really enjoyed another book by A. Lee Martinez called The Automatic Detective.

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Black Panther: A Nation Under Our Feet, Book 1

Black Panther: A Nation Under Our Feet, Book 1 by Ta-Nehisi Coates
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The people of Wakanda are restless. They've been stirred up by a group called The People and some of them have become dangerous.


T'Challa has been doubting himself and whether he can do the right thing to protect Wakanda.

Meanwhile one of the Black Panther's Dora Milaje is sentenced to death for doing the right thing because of growing corruption in Wakanda. Her fellow Dora Milaje and lover will not allow her to be killed and steals experiment armor to free her.



I was really excited about a new Black Panther comic especially having such a renowned author as Ta-Nehisi Coates on the project. Unfortunately very little happens in this volume. The thread that Wakanda has problems that need to be solved reoccurs, but the rest of the time is spent lamenting those problems and kindly trying to solve them. T'Challa is scared and frustrated regarding what's happening, but little of his persona is shown. The most compelling and forward moving aspect of the story is the Dora Milaje who escaped from Wakanda with experimental Midnight Angel armor. One of the lovers is sentenced to death for actually doing the right thing and the other can't accept her punishment. They embody the trope of wanted lovers on the run from their problems, but they are far from helpless because they armor they wield is powerful.

The writing in A Nation Under our Feet feels very amature. Those bubbles are packed with words mostly philosophical and political in nature. It's clear the story will eventually go somewhere, but right now it's taking the scenic route filled with speeches. It's been disappointing thus far and I think I'm going to wait to read the next issues and volumes at my library or Marvel Unlimited.

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The Numbers Game: Why Everything you know about Soccer is Wrong By: Chris Anderson and David Sally

The Numbers Game: Why Everything You Know About Soccer Is Wrong by Chris Anderson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I get obsessed about things, I find something I like and delve face first into it till I am full of it, or tire of it or run out of things to know. I never liked sports eventhough I come from a family of sports lovers. A few years ago I jumped off into hockey and last year I fell in love with the beautiful game.

(Yes, that's alot of pointless exposition, but there is a purpose sorta)

Being a book whore, and having a new subject to pore over, I found several books on my new subject. The Numbers Game, being a study on a sport I was just learning and numbers (which I suck at)..common sense says I shouldn't enjoy this, But I did.

This book shows me in no uncertain terms why I enjoy this sport as a new fan. It is truly a beautiful game, there is a magic in the stats and a "beauty" in the skill and the players.

If you are a stat head, or just want to understand a great sport better, this is for you.



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Rummy Indeed

The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is rum, indeed! Very questionable goings on going on here!

I believe this is labeled as fiction, but since Hunter S. Thompson mostly wrote about his experiences, The Rum Diary is probably about as fictional as say Kerouac's On The Road.

Even calling it "semi-autobiographical" is a scary prospect since that means at least some of this horror happened. "Horror" Koivu? ...Well okay, maybe it's lightened by some dark humor, but there are still some pretty awful things that happen herein, take for instance borderline rape.

Having worked for newspapers, I enjoyed living vicariously through the main character Paul Kemp "who, in the 1950s, moves from New York to work for a major newspaper, The Daily News, in San Juan, Puerto Rico." (Wikipedia) The struggle to get the story, the weak pay, oddball co-workers and foreign assignments are all dreams and nightmares of the typical journalist, and so it was easy to slide into a comfort-read with The Rum Diary.

The fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, care-free living, drinking and nearly dying flowing through out the narrative is very Beat Generation. There's no real goal, no protagonist with any particular object to obtain or obstacle to hurdle. This is not genre writing. This is what was en vogue in the mid 20th century. It's what most of my crusty old writing professors muddled my brain with. "Get with the times! Genre writing is finish, maaan!" I bought it, hook, line and stinker, and so I struggled to come up with novel ideas. Ah, but I'm grudge-grinding and getting off topic.

The brevity of The Rum Diary is what really sells it for me. This kind of compass-less writing (it's not entirely directionless, just occasionally wayward) only holds my attention for so long. Enough interesting things happen between the covers of this slim book to keep me mostly riveted through out and quite willing to recommend it.

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Marvel Comics: The Untold Story

Marvel Comics: The Untold Story by Sean Howe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Marvel Comics: The Untold Story is the story of Marvel Comics, from its beginnings in the late thirties until fairly recently, with all the highs and lows in between.

Confession Time: For most of my life, I've been a comic book fan. I've got around 2000 of them in boxes in my nerd cave and have numerous super hero shirts.

Marvel Comics: The Untold Story was a very gripping read for me. I read the sanitized version of some of the events in Marvel: Five Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics but I wasn't completely prepared for some of the things I learned.

The story starts with Martin Goodman cashing in on the comic book craze but really gets interesting when he hires his nephew, a kid named Stan Lee, to do some editing. Once Joe Simon and Jack Kirby create Captain America, things kick into high gear until the 50's, when Seduction of the Innocent nearly kills the industry. Things circle the drain until a fateful golf game with the head of DC comics prompts Goodman to order Lee to create a team of superheroes. The Fantastic Four is created and the Marvel Age of comics kicks into full swing.

The book covers a lot of behind the scenes info, like creators getting fucked out of royalties and original art. Anyone who's into comics has probably heard about that. The things I didn't know about, like a bunch of guys being into drugs, DC and Marvel negotiating for Marvel to license some DC characters, and what a tyrant Jim Shooter was, were much more interesting. It must have been maddening to work with Shooter after Secret Wars.

While it might be boring for some, I found the inner workings of Marvel when it was being bought and sold several times in rapid succession to be fascinating. In a lot of ways, it reminded me of The Death of WCW. How could people be handed the golden ticket only to wipe their asses with it?

Jim Shooter seemed like a dictator but I think Tom DeFalco's throw everything against the wall and see what sticks strategy played a bigger part to the near death experience the comics industry suffered in the 90's. Also, Stan Lee seems even more like a hack and a tool than he did before I read the book.

Speaking of the 1990s, Todd McFarlane and Rob Liefield come of as huge pieces of crap. I think we're all quite lucky Marvel survived the black hole of the 1990's comic market. It's crazy to think how many half-brain dead tyrants Marvel had at the helm before Quesada and Palmiotti finally turned things around.

For a lifelong comic nerd, this book was one hell of a read. 4 out of 5 stars.


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Fallon's Jewel

Sedonia Guillone
Ai Press
Reviewed by Nancy
4 out of 5 stars

Summary

Kenji doesn’t know who he is or where he came from, only that he woke up one day, naked and alone on Terran A, possessing nothing in the world but a golden statue. All he knows is his survival, hosting roughnecks in Spike’s bar for a living. The one bright spot in his life is Jake Fallon, a cop with Interstellar Patrol. Though Fallon is only another customer, Kenji senses something different about him, something that inspires Kenji to trust Fallon with his body and his life. When Kenji is attacked and pursued by a vicious bounty hunter one night, Fallon also becomes his only hope.

Fallon’s passion for Kenji mixes with his desire to rescue the beautiful man from danger. He’s already more than half in love with Kenji and falling deeper as the bounty hunter’s pursuit takes them from galaxy to galaxy. For the first time since his first partner was killed, Fallon dares to surrender his heart again. However, as their race for survival uncovers Kenji’s true origins, Fallon may have to let Kenji go in order for Kenji to fulfill the very purpose of his existence…

My Review

“I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

When he was just 12 years old, Kenji fell from the sky. Before he hits the ground, a military man saves him. Though Kenji never saw the man’s face, he never forgot his voice or the feel of his arms around him. Years later, while serving the rough patrons drinks at Spike’s Bar, Kenji has no memory of his life before.

Kenji still has vague memories of the man who saved him and often has strong visions and dreams that affect him physically and emotionally. When he meets Jake Fallon, an Intergalactic Space Patrol (ISP) officer, at the bar, he is immediately taken by the man and feels inexplicably safe with him. Jake is equally attracted to Kenji even though he is still grieving the loss of his partner and lover. Though they have sex early on, their emotional connection is deep. Kenji makes Fallon feel alive again and Fallon makes Kenji feel protected.

As Kenji and Fallon gradually unravel Kenji’s past, it is not long before Kenji is in danger with a vicious bounty hunter on his trail. And that is only the beginning of his troubles.

I know amnesia plots are a bit cliché, but I rather liked the way it was done here. Kenji’s amnesia wasn’t caused by a bump on the head; his memory was deliberately erased. When Kenji starts to regain his memories, he retains his kind nature, but reveals another stronger side of his personality and his ability to “see” becomes more pronounced.

I loved this gripping, fast-paced, and very romantic space opera. It was as comforting as a steaming mug of hot chocolate.