Monday, July 3, 2017

Dirty Ol' Bryson

Neither Here nor There: Travels in EuropeNeither Here nor There: Travels in Europe by Bill Bryson
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Huh. Turns out Bryson is a dirty ol' bugger!

This travel-across-Europe journal is fun, educational and entertaining. I love travel and I like learning about far-off places. Europe has been done and overdone, yet I still find it fascinating.

Bryson's recollections are from when he wrote the book in the '90s as well as from a previous trip he and his friend Katz took. Regardless of when the reminisces come from, details ring true from the experiences I've had of the same places, such Paris and parts of Italy. Apparently some things never change. However, it was cool to get his take on the place.

At times he gets a little grumpy, but overall this is lighthearted and goodnatured. He has a adequate store of patience and his take-it-as-it-comes attitude keeps most of this from sinking into endless gripes.

Fun as this was, it's not my favorite of the six or so of Bryon's works I've read to this point. I haven't found this in his later books, but earlier on his writing seems to show a distracting obsession with sex. That's fine. I mean, I'm a dirty bird too, but I really don't want to know about the fetishes of a mid-aged man. I am one and it's not pretty. Hey, I'm sure that's someone's bag. Somewhere out there some sad sod is thinking, "I wonder what gets boring, bald and wrinkled old Phil from accounting off?" But that's not me...not yet anyhow. Who knows maybe someday my sexuality will warp in an unexpected way.

Oh, who am I kidding...*zip*

View all my reviews

A Little Light On The Funny

Seriously... I'm KiddingSeriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

5 GLORIOUS STARS!!! is what I wanted to give Seriously...I'm Kidding when I first picked it up. The peace and kindness message is great, but this lacks the funny far too much for an autobio from a comedian.

I love Ellen DeGeneres. Wait, let me back up. I love the idea of Ellen DeGeneres. I really like her show. Her stand-up...meh. Unfortunately, this book is more like her stand-up. This very quick read (actually, I listened to her read it and it was only 3 cds) is filled with her silly titter-inducing jokesque things. It's also filled with fluff. There are whole chapters of filler. There are sections of her making nonsensical noises, her eating, and her saying nothing. Literally intentional silence. As if that wasn't bad enough, there's a whole bit about dreams. I would've preferred more silence.

I'd say about halfway through I thought Seriously...I'm Kidding deserved about 3 stars, but the latter half took a complete nose-dive. Very boring, tedious even.

That's sad. I had high hopes. I guess I'll go back to checking out Youtube clips of her show. Those crack me up.

View all my reviews

Sunday, July 2, 2017

White Jazz

White JazzWhite Jazz by James Ellroy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When Dave Klein, the dirtiest cop in town, catches a burglary, he quickly becomes entangled in a web of drugs, prostitution, and murder...

James Ellroy's four volume treatise on family values and the integrity of the Los Angeles police department comes to a conclusion in White Jazz. White Jazz ties up some nagging lose ends leftover from the previous three volumes. Gone is the "trinity of sin" structure of The Big Nowhere and L.A. Confidential, replaced by a first person narrator, a throwback to The Black Dahlia.

Ellroy's machine gun style is ratcheted up to an insane degree in this one, the short choppy sentences hitting like the needle of a sewing machine. Honestly, it got a little hard to follow what was happening at times. However, the crazy style added something to the book, giving it a frantic, paranoid feel.

The story itself continued in the vein of the previous two; the corpse of the integrity of the LAPD was exhumed, violated in every orifice, and buried again. What starts as a burglary investigation tears the scab off of the gaping wound of the LAPD's narcotics division and exposes the infection beneath, namely their longtime relationship with the Kafesjian family. Dave Klein, a cop, lawyer, and mob enforcer, finds himself navigating a maze of filth to figure out just what the hell is going on, caught in a power struggle between two of the most powerful men on the force.

After finishing LA Confidential, I mentioned that I thought Dudley Smith was James Ellroy's Randall Flagg. After reading this book, I stand by that. The master manipulator was in fine form in White Jazz, doing his puppeteer act from the sidelines for most of the book. Once all the cards were on the table, the book got so frantic I thought I might have an anxiety attack.

As with the previous books, the dialogue and relationships between the characters threw a lot of gas on the fire. Klein's complicated relationships with his sister and Glenda, as well as Junior and the rest, made him another of Ellroy's shitbird characters that you couldn't help but root for, especially since all the other shitbirds had a lot more blood on their hands.

While I didn't like White Jazz quite as much as the other two books in the LA Quartet, it did a great job wrapping things up. Hell, when the three previous books are of such high caliber, they're hard to follow. Four out of five stars.

View all my reviews

Friday, June 30, 2017

Happily Ever Before


Jaye Valentine
Self-Published
Reviewed by Nancy
4 out of 5 stars




Summary



Featuring the White Queen and the Red Knight from Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking-Glass, And What Alice Found There," this erotic short story by Jaye Valentine incorporates Carrollian elements of nonsensical comparison and White Queen-specific time distortions, all wrapped up in a beautiful gender-bending package.


My Review



This deliciously erotic treat was perfect reading between naps on a long flight and short enough to gobble up in a single bite.

Inspired by Lewis Carroll’s classics, this is a cleverly written, humorous, and very steamy story about one of no doubt many passionate flings between the White Queen and his devoted Red Knight.

I thoroughly enjoyed the flowery language, the banter, and the deep affection the lovers had for one another.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Inhuman, Volume 2: Axis

Inhuman, Volume 2: AxisInhuman, Volume 2: Axis by Charles Soule
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Black Bolt has been missing since the events of Infinity, but thanks to Lineage, Medusa now knows he's alive. Medusa tasks her best detective along with her Nuhuman partner to find Black Bolt. Meanwhile Reader had rescued Xiaoyi, but are his intentions as pure as they appeared?
description

So I read this at the start of my Marvel Unlimited month and wasn't impressed, but after rereading it I have no idea why. Maybe I was just in a bad mood. Perhaps the Axis tie in really messed me up, but now I've read it so that could be the difference.

So Maximus has finally found a way to take control of Black Bolt's mind and he's controlling his every action. Auran and Frank McGee (Nur) are on their trail.
description I'm a big fan of Frank McGee though. He's not the standard new hero. He's not young and naive, a scientist, or the result of some freak accident (basically not counting the terrigen cloud). A detective forced into early retirement because of his glowing eyes and forced into New Attilan because his eyes were giving his wife nightmares. He's a good guy and a strong addition.

Reader didn't save Xiaoyi out of the kindness of his heart. He's paid to bring new Inhumans to Ennilux. Unfortunately Xiaoyi isn't his normal job and things get complex.

I really enjoyed this volume of Inhuman and I like the direction they're moving.


View all my reviews

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

THE SOFT MACHINE BY WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS

The Soft Machine: The Restored TextThe Soft Machine: The Restored Text by William S. Burroughs
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

”In order to accomplish the purpose I prostituted myself to one of the priests---(Most distasteful thing I ever stood still for) ---During the sex act he metamorphosed himself into a green crab from the waist up, retaining human legs and genitals that secreted a caustic erogenous slime, while a horrible stench filled the hut---I was able to endure these horrible encounters by promising myself the pleasure of killing this disgusting monster when the time came---And my reputation as an idiot was by now so well established that I escaped all but the most routine control measures---.”

So the paragraph above that I shared with you is strange, but easily understood. Now check out this paragraph.

”Larval people whispering flesh. Eyes ejaculated spine mud. Black gum in member. Old junky coughing limestone in the obsidian morning: the sale mirror to red sky. Manipulated spasms puppets vestigial meat. Pulsing pink shell. Red pagodas and crystal accounts. Wet dream eyes hanging in lust of dead flesh patios. Boy chrysalis in streets of postcard. Eating birds patrol black lichen. Catatonic sports sear lungs of dream clay. Lust of mud bubble coal gas the insect street. Flesh ejaculation. Penis in the broken mirror rocks of Marwan. Serving the crystal dawn photo of sex. On the Brass and Copper Street.”

 photo William20S.20Burroughs_zpsekemibib.jpg

This book was originally composed using the cut-up technique inspired by the artist Brion Gysin. Let me define cut-up for you: ”Cut-up is performed by taking a finished and fully linear text and cutting it in pieces with a few or single words on each piece. The resulting pieces are then rearranged into a new text.” So William S. Burroughs wrote a traditional novel and then cut those sentences up into pieces and rearranged them randomly. Maybe less of a creative process than just a random throw of the dice. Burroughs was not happy with the 1961 edition, and in several editions after the original, he continued to make radical changes. It is the type of novel that possibly, because of the randomness of design, can never be finished.

He added more standard prose to each new edition to make the book more readable. There is this moment when he writes: ”But then who am I to be critical?” I chuckled because it was as if he were talking to the reader. There is a lot of homosexual sex described, but a lot of it is fairly repetitive. He likes the words jissom (jism) and rectum, and the phrase ”ragged pants to the ankles.” Did I say there was a lot of sex description? I meant there is oceans, mountains, oodles, gobs, and, forgive my French, a$$loads, (Yes, I’m being tongue in cheek) of sexual situations.

There is a linear prose chapter titled The Mayan Caper which gives the reader some idea of what they are actually reading about. If you do decide to take on the task of reading this novel, and you become bogged down, frustrated, discombobulated, or start screaming uncontrollably, please skip ahead to this chapter and soothe your ruffled reader’s soul with at least something you can wrap your mind around.

I made notes of some cool passages that I really liked:

”An evil old character with sugary eyes that stuck to you.”

“They were ripe for the plucking forgot way back yonder in the corn hole---Lost in little scraps of delight and burning scrolls.”

“The man opposite me didn’t look like much---A thin grey man in a long coat that flickered like old film.”

“...in these times when practically anybody is subject to wander in from the desert with a quit claim deed and snatch a girl’s snatch right out from under her assets.”

“When the boy peeled off the dry goods he gives off a slow stink like a thawing mummy.”

“Crab men peer out of abandoned quarries and shag heaps some sort of vestigial eye growing cheek bone and a look about them as if they could take root and grow on anybody.”


Even the linear prose is sometimes as confusing as the cut-up technique sections. Most people probably do not need to read this trilogy, but if you are someone who enjoys looking at words used in unusual ways, or if you are someone who wants to write innovative songs or progressive novels, or if you are someone who thinks that you understand what edgy writing is all about, you probably do need to at least dip a toe into the murky waters of Soft Machine.

What will I do? Well, I will read the rest of the series and probably, over time, everything that Burroughs wrote. I save his books for a time when I feel I am becoming stale or too comfortable. Sometimes, I just reach these crustaceous moments when I start to feel like a barnacle attached to the underside of a boat, permanently moored in port.

”Human faces tentative flicker in and out of focus. We waded into the warm mud-water. Hair and ape flesh off in screaming strips. Stood naked human bodies covered with phosphorescent green jelly. Soft tentative flesh cut with ape wounds. Peeling other genitals. Fingers and tongues rubbing off the jelly-cover. Body melting pleasure-sounds in the warm mud. Till the sun went and a blue wind of silence touched human faces and hair. When we came out of the mud we had names.”

If you wish to see more of my most recent book and movie reviews, visit http://www.jeffreykeeten.com
I also have a Facebook blogger page at:https://www.facebook.com/JeffreyKeeten

View all my reviews

Monday, June 26, 2017

Money For (Doing) Nothing

Frozen AssetsFrozen Assets by P.G. Wodehouse
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Classic Wodehouse. Classic comedy.

Here's the basics. Biff stands to gain an large inheritance if he can only keep himself from getting pinched by the local constabulary. Problem is, Biff likes to drink and when he drinks he gets up to shenanigans, inevitably getting himself pinched. That's where his buddy Jerry, the long-suffering editor of a gossip rag, comes in. He's tasked with keeping Biff's nose clean. Why? Because Jerry wants to marry Biff's sister and she really wants Biff to inherit that money. See what I mean? Classic Wodehouse.

While not hilarious all the way through, Wodehouse spreads a bucketful of laughs liberally throughout Frozen Assets. The opening scene is a prime example of the author's trying-the-main-character's-patience gags. Wodehouse can even squeeze the last ounce of humor out of such an insignificant character as the bad guy's solicitor.

The unintentionally funny thing about this one is that it was written in the 1960s and a contemporary detail or two is dropped, such as Khrushchev's name being spoken in vain, and yet the setting and characters' affectations are clearly late Victorian England. Mannerisms are dated. Butlers and chauffeurs abound. That's not to say these things couldn't have existed in Khrushchev's time, but the times had changed by the 1950s-60s, Wodehouse had not. And that's just as well. He had more Jeeves & Wooster to write before he died and that odd couple needed to remain staunchly of their time.

Good book. Not great. I prefer the J&W, Blandings Castle, or even Ukridge stuff over these stand-alone novels.

View all my reviews

Hello? Hello?...Oh, It's Cthulhu

The Call of CthulhuThe Call of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

What better time to read The Call of Cthulhu than on Halloween?! Probably should've read this one by now, but I've been holding off for a while, waiting for that special occasion.

I do that with some books, usually classics. There's a Steinbeck or two I'm keeping in my proverbial back pocket for when I'm in the right mood or need to get out of a reading funk.

The Call of Cthulhu is pure horror. It's terrifying. If I'd been wearing boots, I'd be quaking in them. Reading this reminded me of reading Poe as a kid. The chills they were palpable. Lovecraft's elevated language is akin to Faulkner. Perhaps this is best described as Poe-stylings layered over Absalom Absalom. The darkness, the despair reaches out of the primeval swamp and sucks you in.

Unlike some classic horror, you actually get physical manifestations of the terror lurking in the shadows. This is no mere ghost story. This is a fucking monster. Yes, it's veiled, it's mysterious, but it's coming for you and it will have you.



View all my reviews

Sunday, June 25, 2017

L.A. Confidential

L.A. Confidential (L.A. Quartet, #3)L.A. Confidential by James Ellroy
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In the aftermath of the Bloody Christmas, the lives of three cops are forever entwined; Ed Exley, the by the book cop who is forever in his father's shadow, glory hound Jack Vincennes, and Bud White, the man forever avenging his dead mother. After six people are killed in the Nite Owl Massacre, can the three men co-exist working the same case or will they all go down in flames?

L.A. Confidential is an epic crime tale spanning nearly a decade, a tale of corruption, greed, drugs, pornography, and murder upon murder upon murder. In many ways, it's The Big Nowhere 2.0. Ellroy once again uses the hell's trinity of three cops with varying degrees of dirtiness to explore Hollywood's filthy and infected underbelly.

The story started simply enough. A bunch of cops got tanked at a Christmas party and beat the shit out of some prisoners. Ed Exley snitched, setting the tone for most of the rest of his role in the book, that of an overgrown kiss ass hall monitor. Well, that's unfair, I guess. He's a pretty good detective for a daddy's boy rat. As with previous Ellroy affairs, two of the cops are pretty dirty. Jack Vincennes sells dirt to tabloids and Bud White's a heavy handed guy with a never ending beef with wifebeaters.

Once the Nite Owl Massacre hits and the smut magazines rear their creepy masked heads, Ellroy shows just how dirty cops can be, with lots of withholding evidence and backstabbing. The three leads prove themselves to be multi-faceted characters, all three with likeable and deplorable traits. Structurally, it's very similar to The Big Nowhere, only richer, more nuanced, and grimier. James Ellroy's Los Angeles is a cesspool with a thousand decaying corpses bobbing just beneath the surface.

I had a feeling who the mastermind was but was in the dark about a lot of the rest of the dirty deed doers until the trinity finally got on the same page just before the pages were torn out for good. For most of the book, I was happy to be on Ellroy's sightseeing tour of Hollywood hell. His punchy use of language was something to behold, a machine gun of poetic yet brutal short sentences.

The ending was pretty hard. I knew the ending would be rough, considering the previous two books in the LA Quartet, but this one was a bloody train wreck. There were some great character moments in the final pages and it's left me ravenous for White Jazz.

I guess I can finally join the nearly 20 year old party and see the movie now. Five out of five stars.

View all my reviews

Friday, June 23, 2017

Divide & Conquer


Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Dreamspinner Press
Reviewed by Nancy
4 out of 5 stars



Summary



Baltimore, Maryland, is a city in alarming distress. Rising violence is fanning the flames of public outrage, and all law enforcement agencies, including the FBI, are catching blame. Thus the FBI’s latest ideas to improve public relations: a municipal softball league and workshops for community leaders. But the new commitments just mean more time Special Agents Ty Grady and Zane Garrett have to spend apart when they’re happily exploring how to be more than by-the-book partners.

Then the latest spate of crime explodes in their faces—literally—throwing the city, the Bureau, and Ty and Zane’s volatile partnership both in and out of the office into chaos. They’re hip-deep in trouble, trying to track down bombers and bank robbers in the dark with very few clues, and the only way to reach the light at the end of the tunnel together requires Ty and Zane to close their eyes and trust each other to the fiery end.


My Review



I’m addicted to this series and officially a fan of Ty and Zane, even if they both need to get slapped upside the head.

The city of Baltimore is out of control. Riots, robberies and explosions are occurring with increasing regularity. Law enforcement is doing the best it can, but their credibility has taken a hit. It’s up to FBI agents Ty Grady and Zane Garrett to help gain the public’s trust again.

With their increasing workload, it’s hard for them to find quality time together. Though their sex is electrifying and their intimate moments tender, their communication skills leave a lot to be desired.


“You’re not dessert, Zane. You’re the main course, Ty informed him in a husky drawl. And you have about five seconds to take your pick of flat surface before I do it for you.”


Though Ty has verbally expressed his love, Zane has difficulty saying those three little words.


“Suddenly there were all sorts of words crowding on Zane's tongue, and he couldn't get a single one out, much less three that would prove he knew the best thing to happen to him in his entire life lay right there in his arms.”


I’m glad that more of the focus of this story is on Ty’s and Zane’s relationship, as the bad guys and their motivations didn’t ring true for me. Still, I’m craving a good mystery where the police are not portrayed as incompetent buffoons. Perhaps I should not expect that from this series.

There were lots of entertaining moments with their co-workers, including the funny and punny text messages. There were also tense, gripping moments as a serious injury renders Zane helpless and dependent on Ty.

I loved getting to know Ty’s Marine friends and hope they make another appearance.

The ending slayed me.