Leviathan

Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Archduke of Austria-Hungary and his wife are assassinated and their son, Alek, flees into the night with trusted advisors. Deryn Sharp disguises herself as a boy to gain a post on a Darwinist airship. With a Great War brewing, how will their paths intersect?

I had Leviathan on my kindle for so long I'd largely forgotten when I purchased it. Sometimes, you just want to read about giant steam-powered robots in the dawn of World War I.

Leviathan is a steampunk adventure tale set in the opening months of World War I in an alternate world where war is brewing between the Darwinists and the Clankers. Darwinists use genetically engineered war machines while Clankers use big honking human piloted robots. Sounds pretty good, right?

In a Young Adult sort of way, it's a fun tale. Will her comrades find out Deryn is a woman? Will the Germans find where Alek is hiding? Will we see brutal robot on robot action?

The worldbuilding in Leviathan was my favorite part. Who doesn't love giant robots and huge living airships? Setting it during World War I was a nice change of pace that avoided some of the usual steampunk tropes. I also liked that Alek and Deryn didn't instantly fall in love and neither of them was a Chosen One type of character.

The writing didn't wow me, however. It was pretty average and felt a little repetitive at times. My main gripe, while we're on the subject, is that not a lot actually happened. I'm aware that it was the first book in a trilogy but it was pretty unsatisfying on its own. It set up a lot of stuff for future installments but had very little meat to it on its own.

Three out of five stars. I'm still undecided whether or not I want to spend money on the other two, however.

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Finishing Touches

Thomas Tessier
Leisure Books
Reviewed by Nancy
3 out of 5 stars

Summary

On an extended holiday in London, Dr. Tom Sutherland befriends a mysterious surgeon named Nordhagen and begins a wild affair with the doctor's exotic assistant, Lina. Seduced and completely enthralled by Lina, Tom can think only of being with her, following her deeper into forbidden fantasies and dark pleasures. But fantasy turns to nightmare when Tom discovers the basement laboratory of Dr. Nordhagen, a secret chamber where cruelty, desire and madness combine to form the ultimate evil.

My Review

I first came across Thomas Tessier's writing in the Hot Blood series, edited by Jeff Gelb and Michael Garrett. Eager for more of his creepy and erotic stories, I was thrilled to find a cheap used copy of Finishing Touches. This story is about a young American doctor, Tom Sutherland, who takes a few months off from his practice to travel, and meets up with an unusual cosmetic surgeon while drinking at a local pub. As Tom slowly gets drawn into the surgeon's dark and mysterious world, and becomes enchanted with the doctor's lovely assistant, he discovers a whole new world of dark, sensual, and sadistic pleasures that at first repels then fascinates him.

The story is competently written, suspenseful and disturbing. It started off slowly and built up tension, but I couldn't help but be let down by the "ultimate evil" Tom was supposed to confront towards the end.

Father Panic's Opera Macabre is a strange and unsettling little story about a historic novelist who becomes stranded in rural Italy after his car breaks down. Neil comes across an old mansion that is inhabited by a beautiful and lonely woman and her eccentric family.

This is a very atmospheric, erotic and disturbing story that builds to a horrific ending in which Neil is confronted with atrocities committed by Croatians during World War II. While I enjoyed the setting, the creepy house and its strange inhabitants, and the slow build up, the story's gaping plot holes left me vaguely unsatisfied.

MY UNCLE NAPOLEON BY IRAJ PEZESHKZAD

My Uncle Napoleon by Iraj Pezeshkzad
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

”Once upon a time I was like you, too...very sensitive...very melancholy...but time changed me...a person’s body is formed in the workshop of his mother’s body, but a person’s soul in the workshop of the world.”

Our unnamed narrator is a teenage boy who finds himself pulled in all directions by his own burgeoning feelings of love, the squabbles of his extended family, and the generally confusing advice he gets from everyone he knows. He knows one thing for sure, that he loves his cousin Layli, and if he can’t have her for his own, he will just have to kill himself.

The drama of young love, so easy to believe that it is all consuming.

His main obstacle turns out to be his own father, not for the traditional reason that his father doesn’t feel the girl is a good match or the family is not good enough, but because his father has embroiled himself in a personal vendetta to take Layli’s father down a peg or two.

Revenge, as they say, is best served cold, but our narrator’s father is too clever, too ambitious, too impulsive to let the slights against his character remain unchallenged. The Dear Uncle Napoleon is the patriarch of the family. None of his brothers and sisters have moved very far away; in fact, they all live around the same garden and courtyard. Anything that happens to any of them is quickly known by all.

They are all obsessed with one another’s business.

Dear Uncle Napoleon fought in the war, and his stories and his memories about his exploits have grown from minnows to whales. It isn’t completely his fault; his manservant, Mash Qasem, over the years has inserted himself into his master’s memories of the war and continues to add his own fabrications to the odes of war.

Dear Uncle Napoleon has always been an admirer of Napoleon. Fortunately, his delusions about himself have not expanded to the point that he believes that he actually is Napoleon, although as the plot unfolds it becomes touch and go as to whether his mind will remain tethered by slender strands to the truth or whether he will completely be taken over by his own delusions. Not helping the situation is that the British have invaded Iran (the book is set during WWII), and he is convinced that they will arrest and execute him for his daring feats against them in the past war.

The narrator’s father has a fine time playing on those fears.

There is another cousin, Puri, a horse faced young man scared of guns and women in equal measure, whom Dear Uncle has promised will be married to the beautiful Layli.

OH NO!!!

Uncle Asadollah Mirza, who happens to be my favorite character in the book, is a philandering admirer of widows and wives. He is one of many who have known the charms of Tahereh. ”I became aware of a twinkle in Asadollah Mirza’s eye. When I looked in the direction he was looking I saw in the dimly lit porchway the beautiful glittering eyes of Tahereh.” She is not only beautiful but frequently available. A man can easily find himself in her arms despite the fact that her husband, Shir Ali the Butcher, has killed two men by cleaving them in two and beat up several others who dared to try and woo his wife. ”Shir Ali, the local butcher, was a horrifying man. He was well over six feet tall; his whole body, from head to toe, was covered in tattoos, and there were numerous knife scars visible on his head. His character and temperament fitted his terrifying body exactly.”

Asadollah Mirza is a lover not a fighter. Lust is a sacred feeling for him and must not be ignored. Luckily for him, Shir Ali has found religion and has set aside his cleaver for a leg of mutton as his weapon of vengeance. Asadollah wouldn’t survive his neck cleaved in two, but he might survive a broken skull.

In his mind, as well as the minds of many other men, the allure of Tahereh is worth the risk.

So our Narrator, without other resources for advice, turns to Asadollah who tells him the same thing over and over that he must take Layli to San Francisco. Somewhere along the line the family has seen the movie San Francisco (1936), starring Clark Gable and Jeanette MacDonald. The starlet has become the symbol in their minds, representing sexual allurement, and taking someone to San Francisco is a euphemism for matching the stem with the flower petals (I guess describing a euphemism with another euphemism isn’t exactly a definition, but if you haven’t figured out what I’m referring to you might identify perfectly fine with our naive Narrator.).

By making love to Layli, our hapless Narrator will force the hand of the Dear Uncle, and he will have to let them marry or face potentially embarrassing the family with a pregnancy out of wedlock. The plot, of course, must take a different turn.

The police are frequently called to the family compound for anything from potential murder to a missing watch. The police add even more humor to a humorous novel. Their interrogation methods are basically to keep their suspects from thinking too much. ”Your answer? Quick, now, immediately, at the double!” This leads to some hilarious answers that lead to more and more trouble for the family.

Mash Qasem begins every statement with: ”Why should I lie?” which makes everyone distrust what he is about to say even more. He isn’t alone; all the characters seem quite comfortable with swearing on everything holy that they are not lying when they are most assuredly telling incredible whoppers.

Everyone is trying to manipulate everyone else. Problems are exasperated by more and more meddling. Those too clever prove too stupid. Those too stupid prove to be too clever. All the characters seem to have too much time on their hands. The plot is like trying to watch three events simultaneously at a circus. It is truly an amazing book and considered by many to be the masterpiece of Persian literature. I haven’t read enough literature from Iran to make that judgment, but I will certainly agree that it is a wonderful book full of contradictions as to how I perceived Iran. There is rampant adultery, the consuming of vast quantities of alcohol, and the breaking of many Islamic commandments. All of which contribute to several scenes that made me laugh out loud. I think Iraj Pezeshkzad was poking fun at the conservative veneer that exists over the entire nation. Certainly, it is exaggerated for comedic effect.

The book was banned at one time in Iran. Pezeshkzad lives in France due to the fact that he was too politically active in the 1970s to live comfortably in the country of his birth. The book was made into a very popular TV series. There are few people in Iran who haven’t met Mash Qasem, Asadollah Mirza, or Dear Uncle Napoleon, either through their TV sets or coming to life in their minds through the printed pages of possibly a black market copy of the book. Iranians are discouraged to read the book, but I will say I for one encourage not only Iranians, but people of all countries to read this marvelous addition to literature. These characters will imprint themselves on you, and for most everyone they will recognize someone in their own family who could have been a member of this cast. I want to thank my friend E____ who recommended this book to me. E____, may you someday experience the same freedoms in your country that I do in mine.

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Fall of Kings

Fall of Kings by David Gemmell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

How Fall of Kings should have ended

(Note: All endings are written by me in an homage to
How it Should Have Ended. They aren't spoilers, none of this stuff happened although I would've enjoyed any of these endings more than the actual ending.)

Possible ending #1

"Lord Helikaon," said Khalkeus.
"What is it Khalkeus? I'm busy with preparation for our next steps in the war with the Mykene," said Helikaon.
"That's what this is about Lord. I've found a way to massively increase the range of your ships fire hurlers. The increase will enable the ship to throw fire for miles rather than a few hundred feet," replied Khalkeus.
"Do it then Khalkeus," Helikaon said while his icy blue eyes saw right through Khalkeus.

Fast forward to the siege of Troy

"We are close enough now to burn the sieging Mykene army to the ground," said Oniacus.
"Let's rain fire on Agammenon's ambition and end his reign of evil," said Helikaon.
The jars of nephthar were hurled for miles shattering into the armies of the west as men were soaked. Then the fire flew through the air for what seemed like days before it finally ignited and burned Agamemnon's ambition and men to ashes.

Possible ending #2

"Come do your daughterly duty Andromache", Priam said while groping all over her body.
Suddenly Hektor stepped around the corner.
"Father I was speaking with my brothers and we are tired of you raping our wives. So we decided to give Agammenon exactly what he wants you, your gold, and your city," Hektor said with a tone as cold as winter.
"My son you can't mean...." Priam mumbled as the Eagles and Antiphones bound and gagged him.

Fast forward to the armies of the west arriving at Troy

"There are no men, women, children, or animals to be seen," Achilles said.
"Battle King, Battle King," a soldier screamed as he ran to Agammenon. "You must see this my King."
They all headed into the unlocked doors of Troy to find Priam bound and gagged sitting in his treasury with a parchment on his chest that read, "We surrender the city and the gold as you demanded and included the King Priam as a bonus." It was signed by all Priam's sons, daughters, grandson/sons, and granddaughter/daughters.

Possible ending #3

"You are a coward Achilles," Agammenon sprayed spit as he snarled the words.
Achilles said nothing, but in the time it takes a man to sneeze he drew his sword and decapitated Agammenon with his head making a heavy thud sound as it hit the wall. Achilles scanned the speechless crowd, shrugged his massive shoulders, and said "Come now, I can't be the only one who was thinking about doing that."
All the men in the meeting except Menelaus laughed. Odysseus laughed so hard wine came out his nose and he couldn't regain his composure.

In Fall of Kings and the entire trilogy David Gemmell really captured Odysseus well and that was the strongest part of the series. The rest of the series was fairly plain and average.

My biggest gripes have to be Gershom's storyline and the epilogue. I really don't see the point of the detour Gershom's story became. It doesn't fit the book or the story at all. It's inclusion just seemed pointless. The epilogue was a rushed attempt to show the future yet it didn't really add anything of value to the story.

The Fall of Kings was an adequate conclusion to the retelling of the Trojan War.


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The Darkest SecretThe Darkest Secret by Alex Marwood

The Darkest Secret by Alex Marwood
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The Darkest Secret by Alex Marwood starts off with witness statements about a young girl missing, presumed kidnapped. We then go to the events surrounding the girl’s disappearance and the Fathers 50th birthday weekend celebration. The past timeline is interspersed with the present where the Father of the missing girl dies in mysterious circumstances handcuffed to a hotel bed and the majority of the cast prepares for the funeral. The death is not expanded on and he turns out to be a soulless man who deserved much worse than the cards he was dealt in life.

What really happened on the weekend of the disappearance is divulged as a finale and there's a bit of a twist that I saw coming from seventy two and a half miles away, or pretty much the beginning. The character development holds the story together by something like the last strand that's just about to break but to be honest the story bored the pants off me for the first two thirds and was altogether far too predictable with no real shocks or anything that gripped me.

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The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman is an enchanting, almostly adult fairy tale that totally gripped me from start to finish. I listened to the audio narrated by Neil himself and its absolutely fantastic, I was literally hanging on every word and it’s very easy to disappear from life and immerse yourself in his narration.

Now my exposure to Neil Gaiman has been fleeting, I read his novel American Gods a good few years ago and The Sandman graphic novel series more recently but listening to The Ocean and Neverwhere in the past couple of weeks has invigorated a profound appreciation of his work and set me on a bit of a Gaiman quest. I'll be reading and listening to a lot more from Neil himself over the next few months and adding him to my top 5 authors, I think he definitely deserves it.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane is a man's recollection of a fantastical and breathtakingly engrossing story from his childhood memories. Our nameless narrator, avoiding a funeral finds himself at a house that plays on the fringes of his conscious and when he is invited to sit overlooking the water, wondrous and terrifying memories surface and at the heart of it a girl named Lettie Hempstock.

It's a story set in our world but with a little extra magical spice, add to that a young boy suffering at the hands of a beautiful but monstrous nanny and his only refuge being Lettie, the youngest of three generations of woman living on a farm close by. There's a world that exists outside the knowledge of the many and its left to the few to guard against wayward spirits and demons, there's always a cost though.

Gaiman teases a beautiful and exquisite tale, the audio adds significantly more of his vision, a precious whisper to be absorbed and coveted, something that you would love to hear again and again.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane is simply magical.

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The Secret Place

The Secret Place by Tana French
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A boy is found murdered on the grounds of a girl's school. One year later, Holly Mackey drops a photograph into the lap of Stephen Moran, a Cold Case cop in Dublin, indicating someone at St. Kilda's knows who the killer was. He takes the photograph to the Murder Squad and gets paired with Detective Conway. Will this be Moran's big chance at getting on the Murder Squad or will the case tear him apart?

The Secret Place is Tana French's fifth entry in the Dublin Murder Squad books and the last to date. It's also kind of a step back after the events of Broken Harbour. I shall explain eventually.

The Secret Place, while a murder mystery at first glance, is an exploration of the politics of being a teenage girl. Tana French mines deep into Megan Abbott territory in this one. Two groups of girls take center stage in Conway and Moran's investigation. About half of them are actually interesting.

Julia and Joanne, the two ringleaders, were the most interesting characters in the book, not surprising since I found teenage girls pretty alien back when I was a teen. From their cliques to their opposing leadership styles, they painted a vivid picture of what life as a teenage girl must be like. Most of the other girls seemed like set dressing for most of the story.

The relationship between Conway and Moran was very well done and I enjoyed it immensely when Frank Mackey was added to the mix in the later chapters. Being something of a loner, I empathized with Stephen a lot of the time. I felt for Conway, too, gunning for her chance to finally prove herself to the guys on the Murder Squad.

While Tana French was at the top of her game in a technical sense in this outing, I did not like The Secret Place as much as its fore-bearers. For one thing, I disliked the shifting viewpoints, a departure from her previous outings. I understand what she was going for but it felt a little lazy in comparison to previous books. I liked how things unfolded but I would have preferred a different method.

My much bigger gripe was with the supernatural angle introduced around the 35% mark. Combining genres is something I normally enjoy, like mixing chocolate and peanut butter. In this case, it was more like finding a pubic hair in your omelet. It was completely unnecessary and brought me out of the story every time it was referenced.

I was pretty surprised at the big reveal, which was not actually a great shock since Tana French clearly has had my number since In the Woods. Like all of French's books, I was a little sad when the story was over, doubly sad in this case since I'm out of Tana French books. While it wasn't my favorite of hers, Tana French writes one hell of a book. Four out of five stars.



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I LOVE Star Wars, But This?...Not So Much

Outcast by Aaron Allston
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Is this lazy writing or a rushed production? Maybe it's both.

Aaron Allston's Outcast, in which the Jedi order is being subverted, kicks off the nine-novel "Fate of the Jedi" series for the Star Wars franchise. Allston would write three of the novels, while two other writers worked on the other six, and all this was done within three years.

That's a lot of writing in a short period. It would seem like they just wanted to pump this stuff out. I mean, nine books in three years is a lot. On the other hand, it's only one book per year for each writer. That should be doable without rushing things. Quality should be maintained.

However, some poor writing got published here. Too many smiles and glares are "offered" and "given". I lost count of the number of times an expressed emotion was given to someone else. After a while I stopped giving fucks.

Maybe Allston is a shitty writer. Or maybe he could've or would've done better given time. Outcast reads like an early draft in which place-holder text is left on the page in order to expedite the writing process. A writer at leisure would go back and revise, remove redundancies, vary the language, make sure the damn words have the correct meaning for what is being said, etc.

I don't care about the vast expo dumps or the tropes trooping about. This is a sci-fi soap opera. I get that. I'm just looking at this from a reader's perspective. The ability to run your eyes over the page without tripping up on some non-sensical sentiment or having the 4th wall busted down because a repetitious phrase is hitting your eyes with the consistency and irritation of a Chinese water torture device.

That truly is unfortunate, because if you're a Star Wars fan, young or old, there's good to be found within these pages. The action scenes (occasionally gratuitous now and then, but not a big quibble) are handled well. Plus, our old friends Luke, Leia, Han, C3P0 and R2D2 are all here. Joining them are a platoon of sons and daughters, nieces and nephews, and grandkids. The warm-fuzzy of familiarity brought on by beloved characters goes a long way in fostering forgiveness for a book's other faults.

Aunts...Who Needs 'Em?!

Aunts Aren't Gentlemen by P.G. Wodehouse
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A case of pink spots on Bertie's chest (maybe it's a touch of malaria, who's to say?) sends him to the country on doctor's orders to rest and relax. Rest and relax? If you've ever read a Wodehouse, you know that's not bloody likely.

Troublesome aunts, daffy explorers, strong-willed dames along with their ardent suitors, crusty landlords, and charming cats all conspire against poor old Bertie Wooster. His butler Jeeves seems to be his only ally in this perpetually-yet-vaguely 1920s, god-help-us world.

Wodehouse did it again! Well into his Jeeves & Wooster series, the insanely prolific writer of the early-to-mid 20th century churned out another quality book replete with a finely paced plot, delightfully nutty characters and enough laughs to fill The Laugh Factory with wall-to-wall guffaws.

At this point, I'm predisposed to enjoy anything by Wodehouse, so perhaps Aunts Aren't Gentlemen has received a gratuitous star in the ratings from me. If you're already a fan, this will crank your chucklebox. If you're new to Wodehouse, I might suggest -NAY!- I would suggest starting with something else. Go ahead, ask me. I'm full of suggestions!


READER'S NOTE: Aunts Aren't Gentlemen is alternately titled The Cat-Nappers.

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Orphan's Quest

Pat Nelson Childs
Glynworks Publishing
Reviewed by Nancy
4 out of 5 stars

Summary

Rokey, a poor orphan, has lived his entire life sheltered within the walls of the Noble Contemplative Monastery. Growing up, he never dreamt anything would haunt him more than the riddle of his parents' identity. But at seventeen, Rokey is discovering that while his roommate, Ely, can think only of girls, his own feelings draw him toward other boys instead. Soon the question of whether or not he is a "samer" is occupying his mind to the exclusion of all else. But when a tragedy results in his expulsion from the only home he has ever known, and an unknown enemy begins trying to kill him, Rokey's mind abruptly returns to the mystery of his parentage. Solving that puzzle, he determines, could mean the difference between life and death. On the road, Rokey soon meets up with a charming elf named Flaskamper. Captivated by the handsome young man, the elf promptly volunteers his help, as well as that of his three unlikely companions. Before long, the five become swept up in the effort to solve the riddle of Rokey's origins and to find out who is trying to kill him, and why. Along the way, Rokey endures some harsh lessons about disappointment and betrayal, but also delights in the joy and excitement of first love. Foiled in initial attempts, Rokey's enigmatic foe escalates the attacks. As the young orphan and his new-found friends pursue the trail of clues that leads them across the land of Firma, they find themselves battling an ever-deadlier array of assassins. When they finally do uncover the truth, it is in the last place Rokey had ever expected to find it.

My Review

Rokey is a 17-year-old orphan who spent his childhood in the Noble Contemplative, a monastery where young men from all over are educated and trained for their future vocations. While his roommate and closest friend, Ely, thinks about girls, Rokey discovers early on his attraction to boys. An unfortunate accident has resulted in Rokey’s expulsion from the monastery and the only life he’s ever known. During a robbery, Rokey is rescued by a handsome blond elf named Flaskamper and his friends. Together, the group embarks on a journey that will forever change Rokey and his friends.

Orphan’s Quest is a riveting fantasy novel that kept me flipping pages until the wee hours of the morning. Despite the use of common fantasy tropes and some predictable situations, the author has created a well-drawn world filled with likeable and believable characters. The love that develops between Rokey and Flaskamper is touching and develops at a natural pace.

The simple language and uncomplicated plot make Orphan’s Quest a story that should appeal to young readers. The adventures, suspense and romance make it a fun read for adults too.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story and look forward to reading more by this very talented author.