THEY THIRST BY ROBERT MCCAMMON

They Thirst by Robert McCammon
My rating: 4 of 5 stars



”Death smiled---a boyish smile---through an old man’s eyes.

‘Welcome,’ he said.”

When you live in those Middle European countries like Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Slovakia, and Serbia, you grow up hearing stories of monsters. The very air, the darkness, the looming mountains, and the shrieks... at the very heart of the night... that stirs people from a sound sleep with terror blooming in the midst of their waking nightmares, convinces even the most cynical of minds to believe that evil beings lurk in the shadows of their lives.

Andre Palatazin, a Los Angeles Detective, known in California by the more American name Andy, was born in Hungary. He would have grown up in Hungary except one night his father returned as one of those things he had went hunting for…

A VAMPIRE.

”Papa had said, ‘Watch my shadow.’”

Andy and his mother, fortunately, escaped to the city of Angels. They are far, far away from those nefarious creatures that turn a man’s spine to ice and a woman’s heart to glass. Palatazin is searching for a killer nicknamed by the press The Roach because he liked to stuff cockroaches in the mouths of his victims.

Palatazin is frustrated because his leads are just a handful of frayed, broken strings, and The Roach continues to thrive. Los Angeles is a city of victims. ”Most of the girls, hopeful starlets from every state in the country, were very pretty; perhaps they’d modeled once or twice or done bit parts or even starred in a skin flick or two, but now for a variety of reasons their luck had just turned bad. They were the throwaways, the tissues some agent, director, or disco smooth-talker had sneezed into and then tossed out with the trash. All of them potential victims.”

For The ROACH.

He changes his Modus Operandi. Wanna-be starlets keep disappearing, but their corpses are not being found. The stress of trying to catch this serial killer, who is scaring the bejesus out of people, is starting to catch up with Palatazin.

Little does he know that the weeks he has spent trying to catch The Roach will be looked back on with something akin to fondness. The Roach is a monster, but he is a monster we can wrap our heads around. He is about to be eclipsed...by a plague of monsters.

Palatazin’s nightmares from Hungary have finally caught up with him.

”A hand and arm, as bone-white as marble and veined with blue, slithered out….”

What the hell is that?

”He pulled the sheet free from their faces...[They were] entwined together. Their faces were as white as carved stone, but what made Silvera almost cry out with terror was the fact that he could see their eyes through the thin, almost clear membranes of their closed eyelids. The eyes seemed to be staring right at him; they filled him with cold dread. He forced himself to reach down and feel the chests for heartbeats.

Their hearts weren’t beating. He felt for a pulse, found nothing.”

I’ve read a reasonable number of vampire books, and there are some good ones. I tend to like the ones that depict vampires the way they would be if they existed, feral, ferocious animals. The debonair, handsome, charming vampire that makes some women’s hearts go pitter patter and makes some men want to upchuck all over the plush leather seats of Stephenie Meyer’s Mercedes Benz is not the type of anemic monster you are going to find in this book.

These monsters...well…They Thirst.

Palatazin doesn’t have to be convinced that the “mythical” creatures from the nightmares of writers is real. He knows they are real, but convincing everyone else before it is too late is like asking for people to believe in the Easter Bunny. A man could be locked up with The Ghostbusters faster than he can say,...but really I’m not crazy. Unfortunately, it isn’t like Andy can laugh maniacally from his prison cell window as humanity is eviscerated and replaced by an army of fanged goons. Palatazin, for the people he loves and even humanity at large, has to find a way to to stop Prince Conrad Vulkan and his plan to subjugate the human race.

Meanwhile he can’t afford to lose his mind.

Fortunately,

he won’t be alone.

”There are four who would destroy you. They approach even now, as you lie dreaming of glory. Four pieces---one is a knight, another is a bishop, a third is a rook, and the fourth is a pawn.”

Can they beat the gathering storm that threatens to turn daylight into perpetual night?

This book was published in 1981 and is a perfect example of those epic, somewhat bloated, horror books that are actually hefty enough to bash in the skull of a vampire, or swat the fanny of a recalcitrant werewolf, or put a large hole in the ectoplasm of an annoying ghost. I, for one, enjoyed the ride that Robert McCammon took me on. This was a bit of 1980s nostalgia that actually made me shudder more than once...those entwined, cocooned, hibernating beasts are still haunting my daymares and nightmares. *teeth chattering shiver of impending doom*

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Inhuman, Volume 1: Genesis

Inhuman, Volume 1: Genesis by Charles Soule
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Black Bolt while battling Thanos set off a terrigen bomb. When the bomb went off a terrigen mist cloud spread across the world effecting any person with the Inhuman gene it comes in contact with. Attilan has fallen, Black Bolt is assumed dead, and Medusa is picking up the pieces while ruling the Inhumans.

So I'm on an Inhuman mission to see where Marvel takes them now that they've been chosen as the MCU's alternative to mutants (since they sold off the rights to use mutants in TV and movies and aren't likely to get them back). Inhuman Genesis was a pretty good volume and it's easy to see why they make a viable replacement for mutants.

Inhuman Genesis seems to realize one of the biggest issues with Inhumans is that there characters aren't that great overall. So thanks to the terrigen mist cloud they can create as many different Inhumans as they want. Some look basically the same as ever...

...and some look terrifyingly brutal...


Inhuman Genesis shows the possibilities for Inhumans are endless and I for one am excited to see what they do next.

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In Such Good Company: Eleven Years of Laughter, Mayhem, and Fun in the Sandbox by: Carol Burnett

In Such Good Company: Eleven Years of Laughter, Mayhem, and Fun in the Sandbox by Carol Burnett
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Carol Burnett show was one of my first introduction's to comedy on television. It is to this day, a masterclass in how to do solid entertainment and this book telling the behind the scenes was a pure joy to read. Her love for show business and the sheer passion she put into her work inspires me.


I am a sucker for books like this, I always want to know what happens under the hood so to speak, if you are a child of these times, or if you want to enjoy some wonderful tv, read this book and watch the show where you can find it.

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The Kill Society (Sandman Slim #9) By: Richard Kadrey

The Kill Society by Richard Kadrey
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I make no bones about being an unabashed fan of this series, it in my opinion is urban fantasy done as it should be, in its best possible form.

The Kill Society starts in a bit of jam after the WTF ending of the last book. But Stark as usual meets all problems as he usually does, with a smart remark and a knife or two to the neck. The action does not fail to impress as usual and it seems that the action pieces in the stories are getting bigger and bigger, maybe to go all out in the next installment.

My only problem with this book is that the storytelling in my opinion seems to be losing a bit of steam, whether or not that is on purpose or not, I don't know...however..its still a ton of fun and kicks major ass.



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This Is How We Do It

This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike. by Augusten Burroughs
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I didn't know this was going to be so self-helpy. I didn't know what to expect, to be honest. I just knew that a lot of my Goodreads friends were reading and mostly loving Augusten Burroughs' books, so I thought I'd give one a shot.

If I had to pinpoint my notions of what I was about to get into, I guess I was expecting something more akin to David Sedaris, but with a sharper edge and less humor. I read This Is How (let's just skip that ridiculously long subtitle) and, while I'm not sure the edge was much sharper, I did get less humor. It was replaced with a self-help directive.

We are going to fucking fix you, is This Is How's message. Sometimes it's almost shouted, but generally it's spoken in a calm, collected and sensible tone. Direct and to the point. It's not Sedaris-memoir, it's more like autobio-when-necessary-to-make-my-point.

No, not everything herein is going to work for you and your problems. Most of the time I felt like Augusten Burroughs hit the nail on the head. Every once in a while he smacked the board. Hey, he's only human. Hell, if he were perfect and had all the answers I'd call him something like New Jesus and begin collecting members for my cult.



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The Black Dahlia

The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Elizabeth Short is found murdered and LAPD detectives Bucky Bleichert and Lee Blanchard catch the case. Can Bleichert and Blanchard bring in her killer before the case destroys them both?

Some time around 2005, my local bookstore owner pushed this on me. At the time, the only detective books I'd read were The Maltese Falcon and a few Hard Case books. It took me a week to get through but it felt like spending a month in jail. The Black Dahlia was a game changer for me, a powerful book that made me see detective fiction in a different light. When it went on sale on the Kindle for $1.99 (and Kemper also started reading it), I figured it was time for a reread.

As I've said many times before, the magic of getting older is that old books become completely new books. I'd forgotten most of what transpired in The Black Dahlia so it was like being tied up and dragged down a gravel road all over again.

The Black Dahlia is the rise and fall of detective Dwight "Bucky" Bleichert, and Elizabeth Short, the dead woman who ultimately did him and his partner, Lee Blanchard, in. Bleichert and Blanchard bond over boxing and wind up being partners in Warrants until Elizabeth Short is found dead and mutilated, cut in half on the sidewalk. Both men wind up entangled with Elizabeth Short for different reasons. Blanchard wants to avenge her to make up for the sister he once lost and Bucky takes up when Lee goes missing.

This book is as noir as it comes, full of obsession, lies, death, sex, murder, pornography, and more lies and obsession. As with most books of this type, the mystery is eventually solved but not without costing everyone involved damn near everything in the process.

In the decade since I last read this, I've become desensitized by reading hundreds of crime books and been made more cynical by life in general but this book still packs one hell of a wallop. Much like Bucky, I was pretty obsessed by Elizabeth Short's murder and couldn't put the book down, as cliche as that sounds. Just like the first time I read it, I felt like I'd spent a few nights in jail when I was done, wrung out and ready for a couple beers.

Something else the passage of time has given me is how much Ellroy writes like a much darker Raymond Chandler. Ellroy's similes kick like an unlicensed .45 a cop carries just for emergencies and Dwight Bleichert is one of the most well-crafted characters in crime fiction. Lee Blanchard is not without his nuances, either. The relationship between Bucky, Kay, and Lee really lent itself to some crazy shit.

Honestly, the only thing I can think of to complain about is that Blanchard and Bleichert's names are too similar. The Black Dahlia is a must-read for all serious crime fiction fans. Five out of five stars.

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Lola Dances

Victor J. Banis
MLR Press
Reviewed by Nancy
5 out of 5 stars

Summary

Sometimes funny, sometimes tragic and often bawdy, Lola Dances ranges from the 1850 slums of the Bowery to the mining camps of California and Montana, to the Barbary Coast of San Francisco.

Little Terry Murphy, pretty and effeminate, dreams of becoming a dancer. Raped by a drunken profligate and threatened with prison, Terry flees the Bowery and finds himself in the rugged settlement of Alder Gulch, where he stands out like a sore thumb among the camp's macho inhabitants--until the day he puts on a dress and dances for the unsuspecting miners as beautiful Lola Valdez--and wins fame, fortune and, ultimately, love.

My Review

Little Terry Murphy grew up poor in the rough Lower East Side of New York, and wants nothing more than to be a dancer. His small stature and effeminate appearance make him the target of bullies and the unwanted attention of a wealthy stranger who lurks outside his dressing room after practice. In the 19th century, not only was homosexuality considered immoral, it was also illegal. In order to avoid arrest, Terry and his tough, bad-tempered brother, Brian, flee the Bowery and head out west. While looking for work at a local saloon, Terry finally achieves his dream of becoming a dancer with the abrupt departure of the saloon’s main act. With a skilled application of make-up and an assortment of costumes, Terry is transformed into Lola Valdez, who becomes an overnight success in a small mining community. After a murder, Terry is again on the run, this time to San Francisco. Terry continues to be a hit as Lola Valdez. Despite Terry’s wealth and success, he is lonely and wants to be loved.

Terry’s earlier sexual encounters were fraught with guilt, shame and secrecy. Through an unexpected turn of events, and knowledge of his own heart, Terry finally finds the love and happiness he deserves.

Lola Dances is a suspenseful, gripping and heartwrenching story, rich with historical details and believable characters. I enjoyed the growth of Terry's character as he matures from a shy boy living in a harsh and violent environment, to a self-confident performer, to a young man who knows what he wants out of life and love.

The Unworthy Thor

The Unworthy Thor by Jason Aaron
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Odinson learns that another mjornir exists

and he seeks to claim it for his own.


With the Unworthy Thor, I expected too much and got much less than I even dared to fear. Words can't truly express how disappointed I was with this. I unfortunately can't explain either without spoiling it for others. Suffice to say this is only for long term Thor comics fans.

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A Few Moments with Max Gladstone

I am a MASSIVE fan of the Craft Sequence books, what inspired them and if possible..how many do you have planned?
First, thanks for reading! It means a lot to know there are people out there excited by the books.

I've talked a lot about my inspirations for the idea: my experience of the 2008 collapse, and realizing, in the aftermath, how the world we humans think we live in is in fact occupied by enormous, basically ageless beings that build us even as we build them—beings of which we are, at best, pieces. By this I mean corporations, of course, but also gods, angels, organizations, nations, even fandoms. So I wanted to explore that idea.

But there's a personal side, too. I'm friends with a lot of brilliant, passionate, driven people—and when I started writing Three Parts Dead, we were all looking around at the world asking, what can we do with this? There's so much chaos and fear and evil built into modern existence. Even reforming these systems a little would be the task of a lifetime. But we don't have lifetimes. It felt, even in 2008, like we were building to a crisis, and that feeling's only grown. Maybe everyone in history felt like this: we are, after all, always living at the end of our own personal worlds. But the feeling remains.

So, in a moment of impossible conflict: what do you do? How do you fix things, even a little? How do you work? How do you live? Do you seize power, try to reshape things that way? But if you do, what will you become? What horrors will you commit on the way? But if you don't join the system, if you fight it, what will it do to you? You're not the first challenger it's seen.

I wanted to write stories about my friends, basically: stories about smart, weird, passionate and compassionate folks trying their best to save a broken world that's much bigger than them. I write about them winning, because the fact that we're still alive is a testament to the fact that people do—and I write about them winning by joining together in a way that overcomes their differences without crushing them, even though it's hard, because I don't think anything happens any other way.

And, frankly, I write these stories because they're fun to read.

As for the books-planned-in-the-series question: I'm not certain how many novellas I'll write, because I'm still getting used to the form. I will say that we've started a different phase of the Craft Sequence with RUIN OF ANGELS—we're building a new story. And I'm really excited about that.

What are you currently reading? Do you have anything that you would recommend the fans who read this?At the moment I'm finishing up AUTUMN IN THE HEAVENLY KINGDOM, by Stephen R Platt, a great and vividly-written chronicle of the second half of the Taiping Civil War in China, a historical event that really fascinates me. AUTUMN picks up where Jonathan Spence's excellent GOD'S CHINESE SON leaves off, and focuses more on late Taiping military history and on the interplay between the civil war and international relations (including with the American Civil War, which was taking place at the same time). Really good stuff, and cheap in eBook!

If you're looking for a fantasy in this vein, I probably don't need to recommend Seth Dickinson's TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT or Robert Jackson Bennett's Divine Cities books—both approaching similar problems from different angles. Sara Gran's CLAIRE DEWITT AND THE CITY OF THE DEAD isn't (really) fantasy, but it's an amazing skewed, genre-aware detective novel about a grown-up teen detective who uses mysticism and deconstruction to investigate crimes, and I love it dearly.

That said, the best fantasy novel I've read recently was Patricia McKillip's FORGOTTEN BEASTS OF ELD, which Tachyon Press is re-releasing soon. It's stunning. I grew up in a boarding school, so I can't say how great it is without using profanity. It's truly, phenomenally great, concentrated, thoughtful, vicious, exalted fantasy, and everyone should read it, and it seems criminal to me that I hadn't until now.

Are you a gamer? If you are, what is currently your game of choice?I am sort of a gamer! More a gamer by identification than by practice, since I'm so busy these days. That said, I recently did start up a new game of infamous bubble wrap simulator Diablo 3; I have a playthrough of Persona 5 simmering on the back burner, for stylistic rainy-day Japan high school joy. I'm probably a bit more of a board gamer than I am a video gamer these days, truth be told. Most recently I've been working through SHERLOCK HOLMES: CONSULTING DETECTIVE, which is a fantastic piece of work.

Finally, what advice would you give new writers?Done is better than perfect. (At least in first draft.)

Finishing is a skill—you get better at it the more you do it.

Slow commitment wins over "when the inspiration strikes" flourishes. (When it comes to producing work and hitting deadlines.)

If you want to write, find some way to make writing your practice—something that centers you, something to which you return, something that alleviates your anxiety. If the act of work comforts you, you'll form good habits more easily.

Advice is like vinegar: a bit of it can help, but too much sours everything.

Murder as a Comfort-Read

Time to Murder and Create by Lawrence Block
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When a criminal "friend" goes belly up in the river with a bump on his head, retired cop Matthew Scudder takes it upon himself to find out whodunnit.

In this, the second of the so-far-enjoyable Scudder series, our hero is tasked with figuring out which of three shitty people with a darkened past was the one who did-in his friend. None of the three are likable, hell, even Matt has some unpleasant skeletons in his closest, so why the hell is this such a good read?!

I've pondered that quite a bit. In fact, I was just saying to Kemper how Lawrence Block's books are fast becoming one of my comfort-reads. I find that strange since you don't usually think of crime, murder, rape, pedophilia, and other shitty things as something you find comfort in. And yet, I do. Obviously, it's not the subject matter. I find comfort in the way the subject is handled, the way Matt Scudder handles the situation, and the way Lawrence Block handles his words. He's got a way with them, that man does!

Also, I've been listening, as opposed to reading, this Scudder series, and I absolutely love the narrator, Alan Sklar's voice, cadence, etc etc. He's done a fantastic job. His somber tone melds with the material meticulously. I believe he is a down-and-out, former cop trying to forget his past in drink.

Somber! Yes, I just called this stuff somber. So, we've got despicable criminals doing shitty things, a detective who's a decent man but not the most likable of people, and a somber narrator. WHY DO I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH?!?!?

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