A Hitman in Post-Apocalyptic NYC

 

 

In the Good Old Days, which were apparently not that long ago, the protagonist of this debut novel was a New York City garbage man. But then another major terrorist attack made much of NYC a ghost town, and in the wake of the attack, virtually all of the major businesses and many of the people who once lived there fled for greener pastures. One of the victims of the attack was the protagonist's wife, and in the wake of the disaster, he has gone into a different branch of the disposal business and...more Reviewed by James L. Thane Three out of five stars In the Good Old Days, which were apparently not that long ago, the protagonist of this debut novel was a New York City garbage man. But then another major terrorist attack made much of NYC a ghost town, and in the wake of the attack, virtually all of the major businesses and many of the people who once lived there fled for greener pastures. One of the victims of the attack was the protagonist's wife, and in the wake of the disaster, he has gone into a different branch of the disposal business and has become a hitman for hire. He does have his rules and standards, though, among them being that he won't kill children. Now known as Spademan, the killer is hired to target the runaway daughter of a powerful television evangelist. Fortunately, the girl has just turned eighteen, which makes her legal as far as Spademan is concerned. He tracks her down without a lot of difficulty, but then gets an unsettling surprise and the story races off on a different track. Sternbergh has created a dark, eerie vision of a dystopian NYC in which many of the wealthiest citizens who remain there have effectively chosen to opt out of life by spending long periods of time in virtual reality chambers, tended by nurses and others who take care of their remaining basic needs, feeding them through IV tubes and so forth. Meanwhile, the city continues to disintegrate around them while the rest of the country apparently goes about its business, physically unharmed but not nearly the same now that the city that was, to a great extent, the country's beating heart no longer exists. While I appreciate what Sternbergh has accomplished here, this book did not work for me as much as I had hoped. I can understand the emotions that Spademan must have experienced upon losing his wife and his city in the same moment, but I never understood why he chose to become a hired killer. I also had trouble buying into the premise that the rest of the country would turn its back on NYC and let it simply rot away. Especially in light of the way that the rest of the country rallied around NYC in the wake of the 9/11 attack, this didn't add up to me. That said, this is a book that will probably appeal to a lot of readers who are more tuned in than I to sci-fi stories with a heavy noir element. It's gotten a fair amount of critical acclaim and will probably find a large audience.

So Scary You'll Soil Your Toughskins!

The Mystery Of Chimney Rock by Edward Packard
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cue the scary music! For this is......The Mystery of Chimney Rock BWAHAHAHAAAAH!!! *cat sound!*

The fifth volume in the Choose Your Own Adventure series gets an extra star from me for some genuinely spooky moments. Yeah sure, it's just a haunted house story about kids snooping where they shouldn't, but if you allow yourself to be drawn into the moment, you'll find that Edward Packard wrote some scenes with a little Hitchcockian aura about them. Nicely atmosphered, indeed!

The drawbacks of The Mystery of Chimney Rock are that the stories often end too quickly and also that it suffers on one or two occasions from assumptive inclusions. What I mean is that people and things are named as if you have prior knowledge of them, and perhaps the character does, but you the reader do not, so that's a little confusing.

WARNING!!!
If you plan on reading this book, stop now! Do not continue on, for there be spoilers ahead…

Here are the storylines I just read in prep for the review:

1) Refused to go into the haunted house again and again like a big old coward until finally the story came to an end. It was late when I started reading and I got scared...

2) Followed my braver cousin Jane into the Chimney Rock house. Ran into the old lady who apparently haunts it. She creeps about acting all creepy like a creep. I went looking for Jane in the attic and mysteriously ended up shrinking down to nothing.

3) Grabbed hold of my balls finally and went into the house before my female cousin. Found the old lady's cat and brought it home with me. Because of a claws clause in the old lady's will, since the cat accepted me as its new master I become the owner of the Chimney Rock mansion! (Notice how it went from a rotten old haunted house to a mansion? It's all in the eye of the beholder!)

4) Made it down into a wine cellar type place and then me and my cousin got buried alive. My 2nd least favorite way to die in real life. (First is having my face eaten off by a bat.)

5) Snuck upstairs and apparently gave the old lady a heart attack that killed her. The policeman on the scene essentially said, "Oh you kids" and lets us go free.

6) The disgusting caretaker let me into the house. I chased after the cat, found the maid and old lady, and end up giving her another deadly heart attack. Old people suck at life.

To Space And/Or Beyond!!!

Space and Beyond by R.A. Montgomery
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

My first ever Choose Your Own Adventure book. I was so excited to get Space and Beyond and to learn about the existence of these strange tales that you could control as the reader...so excited in fact that my review/rating is completely biased and should be taken with a HUGEMONGOUS grain of salt.

No offense to Montgomery, but this ain't Shakespeare. It is however good, light-hearted fun. And honestly, for kids, Space and Beyond delves into some relatively heady stuff, such as contemplation of the beginning and end of the universe.

In this book you play a lantern-jawed hero (who could moonlight as an Elvis impersonator) born on a spaceship traveling so fast that it only takes three days and two hours to age 18 Earth years. So with a little over three days worth of accumulated wisdom and training time you set off to establish your citizenship on either your mother or your father's home planet. It's YOUR choice! <--that data-blogger-escaped-a="" data-blogger-escaped-br="" data-blogger-escaped-exciting="" data-blogger-escaped-first="" data-blogger-escaped-i="" data-blogger-escaped-is="" data-blogger-escaped-lad="" data-blogger-escaped-last="" data-blogger-escaped-like="" data-blogger-escaped-part="" data-blogger-escaped-pretty="" data-blogger-escaped-re="" data-blogger-escaped-read="" data-blogger-escaped-this="" data-blogger-escaped-was="" data-blogger-escaped-wee="" data-blogger-escaped-when="" data-blogger-escaped-you="">
When I was a kid I remember feeling pretty darn smart for getting the main character out of more than a few tight fixes! Rereading it as prep for review, this time around the results were more of a mixed bag...

1) I got picked up enroute by the Lodzots, negotiated a peace and ended a 3000 year old war.

2) I got caught up in some swirling gas, picked up by amoeba-like people...er, persons...thing?...helped them/it to find a new planet, went on a life-form collecting mission, was caught by a politician and made to live out the rest of my life on Earth as a curiosity.

3) Stuck around to study hippie philosophy, then went way back in time, turned into a Protosaurus for some unexplained reason, got chased by a T-Rex and then hung out at the dawn of man.

4) Attended research school, went back 62 million years into Mars' past to explore alternatives to a revolt happening there at the time.

5) Flew directly into a black hole and was never heard from again.


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CYOA #3 Is A Bit Of A #2

By Balloon to the Sahara by Douglas Terman
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

In By Balloon to the Sahara the plan is that you, your friends Peter and Sarah, and your dog Harry are going to take a balloon ride to France, but uh-oh, here comes a storm!

In my first adventure, that brewin' storm was fierce enough to force us into making the drastic decision of cutting into the balloon to get it to land asap. We crash-landed in the sea and got picked up by a submarine on the hunt for whalers. We joined and sunk many ships. What struck me as peculiar was that at one point I was given the usual two choices, but one of them went like this: "If you decide to fire the torpedo and sink the ship, turn to page 46 or 47." I've never seen that before in a Choose Your Own Adventure Book. (It's always been: If you choose this, turn to page X. Or if you choose that, turn to page Y. It's never: if you choose this, turn to X or Y. That's crazytown!) What it amounted to was a 50/50 chance between the same ending, one leaving me satisfied, the other leaving me wondering if I'd done the right thing. Odd, quite odd.

On my 2nd attempt, I decided we'd ride out the storm. We came upon some aliens wearing spacesuits that looked like futuristic beer barrels. We decided we didn't want to hang out with them, so we took them up on their offer to leave in peace…OOPS! They meant we'd "leave in pieces" WAH Wah waaahhh…..Laser blatted!(sic)

On the next adventure we landed on the North African coast, got chased in a cave by a stereotypical Arab horse-riding and scimitar-wielding nomadic tribe (probably meant to be Berbers, but there's no time for polite ethnic distinction here!), we found a scientist in a secret underground lair, who forced us to drink a potion that turned us invisible. We used our invisibility to escape, get home, sneak into movie theaters and sporting events for free and to become super sleuth police detectives!

I redid this cave scenario a few times, because there were three mysterious doors down there to choose from. Each led to many varied and whack-a-doodle adventures. In fact, this whole book is quite silly. D.Terman's writing is a bit cheeky: "But if the lure of the Sahara is too strong to stop your flight, put on some suntan lotion and drift south toward page 8." I once ran into a dude named Professor Hardly Wright. And also, I noticed a number of the path choices are recycled, meaning two variant adventures used the same path at some point. A little of that is okay, but too much of it weakens the 4th wall, making your choices seem more arbitrary, less important and certainly nothing special.

The work of stalwart CYOA illustrator Paul Granger on this one isn't as memorable as other books. Too many pics are dull and Hardy Boy-esque.

My confusion about everything that is By Balloon to the Sahara is maybe best summed up by the encounter in which I was attacked by a dude who looked like a medieval pirate/Germanic barbarian. He and his people were entranced by my friend's flashlight, like it was magic, and they worshipped us as gods. Isn't this story meant to take place in relatively modern times? What the frick is going on here? None of this everything-and-the-kitchen-sink weird randomness is explained. It just happens, making this an occasionally fun, but wholly inconsequential read.

Journey This Way Or That Way?

Journey Under the Sea by R.A. Montgomery
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As a Jay Leno-esque, Chinny McStrongchin looking character, you are off to explore the depths of the ocean with hopes of finding Atlantis. Let's go!

On my first adventure I fought a ginormous squid, discovered an ancient Greek ship upon which was a map showing a tunnel to the center of the earth. I entered the tunnel and soon the water turned to gas and I had to dodge massive atoms. The world became a shade more psychedelic. Undefined presences surrounded me as I entered a thought world. I'd found Atlanteans! I stayed with them, studying for 1000 thought years and emerged to find the surface of the world quite different from when I left it.

On the next adventure I was quickly eaten by sharks.

I had another go, got saved by a dolphin (at this point I've noticed that there are a number of ways in which this book allows you to just give up), found and entered a grotto, which turned out to be Atlantis! I got a species-change operation and never returned to the surface again.

In my final adventure I took my little underwater craft down into a canyon, where I found another grotto and a submarine. Inside the sub I received instructions on how to get to Atlantis. I met some folks, tried to help them overthrow a tyrannical king, and in order to do so I suggested we put on a play, naturally. In a roundabout way it worked!

There are a bunch more endings, all of which look WAY more exciting than my adventures, if the illustrations by Paul Granger are anything to go by. There's some kind of wacky castle pool type thing, cyclones, whales, dudes wearing Kaiser helmets shooting lasers, a ghoulish scientist and more. If I'd come across any of that, this book would easily be four stars, maybe five!

And So The Choosy Adventure Begins...

The Cave of Time by Edward Packard
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Struck with a touch of insomnia (I'm finally building my deck tomorrow and oddly it feels like Christmas!) I thought, what better time to read the classic first volume of the Choose Your Own Adventure series?

In The Cave of Time you are a kid, apparently with no name, on a hike. You come upon a cave you've never seen before. You venture inside and when you emerge shortly after it is a completely different time, and thus begins the adventure.

The pictures, by stalwart CYOA illustrator Paul Granger, made this one out as if it were going to be exciting. There's a medieval knight, the Great Wall of China, castles, a swamp monster, and in my travels I never came across one of these. I spent most of my time choosing either the left or the right tunnel, and somehow intuitively knowing all the while which one of those lead to the past and which to the future. Go figure. Anyway, here are the outcomes of the adventures I went on last night...

1) Went back to an Ice Age, met some cave people, migrated south and lived out my life with them.

2) Fell down a crevasse, met an old man who complained about being a do-nothing philosopher. Boo-hoo.

3) Left the cave and found the sun burning up the Earth, went back to the cave and ended up at a tropical island populated by friendly, grass-skirted natives, hung with them a while and then tried to get back to the cave, but got strangled to death by a boa constrictor.

4) Jumped a train, found it was carrying Abe Lincoln, chilled with him while he wrote the Gettysburg address.

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Bride of the Rat God by Barbara Hambly

BRIDE OF THE RAT GODBarbara Hambly

Kindle, 2011, Open Road

Reviewed by Carol

★   ★   ★   ★  1/2

After the first two pages, I admit, I was worried. Over-dramatic, stereotypical imagery: a helpless, pursued heroine, a moonlit night, bloody hands, steep cliffs. I persevered with faith in my fellow reviewers, and discovered the campy beginning was only a scene from Chrysanda Flamande’s latest movie, “Kiss of Darkness.” Her sister-in-law, Norah, and she are at the movie’s premiere when an elderly Chinese man tries to get their attention “about a matter of life and death.” Pushed off as yet another admirer, it is the first in a series of strange events that have Norah worried.

The first edition of this book has a 50′s pulp cover, terribly misleading to both the story and writing style. Past president of the SciFi Fantasy Writers of America, multiple Locus award nominee and Nebula winner, Hambly is a highly skilled and successful writer. Her bibliography ranges from epic other-world fantasy to Star Wars and Star Trek novels to historical mysteries to historical fiction, but nothing in her writing comes close to the fast and loose sensation-focused writing of pulp magazines.  Bride combines her best: a lavish historical setting with a disconcerting mystery of supernatural origins. I loved the beautiful, eerie atmosphere, Hollywood in the 1920s, the characterization, the plot–it is almost easier to say what I didn’t like. This is a book I’ll be re-reading.

The summary: Widowed in the war, Norah has come to L.A. from England at the request of her sister-in-law, Christine, lead actress for Colossus Studios. Christine is mistress of Frank Brown, the studio owner who is under heavy pressure to buy out another studio–or be bought out himself. Besides being Christine’s companion, one of Norah’s jobs is taking care Christine’s three Pekingese dogs. In true Hollywood fashion, they go everywhere with her, even to the movie set. A multi-thread plot line explores the movie-star lifestyle of Christine/Chrysanda, filming the latest movie, a mysterious elderly Chinese man that seems to be following them and Norah’s feelings of loss and growing attraction to Alec the cameraman. 

Hambly skillfully builds a sense of tension and supernatural influence from the beginning.

“They turned their heads at the sound of her voice, three flat-nosed faces weirdly human, like enchanted children deformed by fairy malice.“

“The room looked strange in the dim light, as rooms did late at night when one had been wakened from uneasy sleep.“

Characters were a high point for me. Although I was slightly overwhelmed with names in the beginning, it soon sorted out. For the most part, all the characters felt multi-dimensional. The Big Bad Evil developed, mysterious at first and then gradually more present. Special note should be made of the wonderful, realistic description of the three dogs who play an important role in the plot–Black Jasmine (with one eye), Chang Ming and Buttercreme (the princess). It was no surprise to read the afterward and learn that Hambly has four Pekingese dogs. She’s able to capture the sense of three different dog personalities without excessive anthropomorphizing their behavior.

“Then, with an air of having settled something to their own satisfaction, the three of them scurried to her feet and licked apologetically at her ankles, her hands, and their own noses, three flat, anxious faces gazing up at her, begging to be forgiven, hoping she understood.”

“Across the court the greater Ned dropped a bean sprout; the little dog bolted in instant pursuit. For the next five minutes he lay, holding the vegetable upright between his paw and licking it perplexedly, before giving up.“

Hambly struck the perfect balance in characterization. Although Christine runs the risk of being a stereotypical star, dramatic and self-centered, her clear affection for Norah and rough upbringing save her from being completely unlikable and ridiculous. In many ways, she becomes the supporting character to Norah’s story. Likewise, though Norah could have been a facile stereotype of the dowdy, downtrodden lady’s maid, she actually has a good deal of influence and determination in her own life as well as Christine’s. She and Christine are often more like partners in crime, particularly when thwarting unwanted admirers.

“Like all her gestures, the movement combined glowing theatricality with genuine warmth. Everything Christine did was fifty percent sham, but the other fifty percent, Norah reflected, was pure gold.“

“Norah answered the apology her sister-in-law intended rather than the worlds themselves.“

One of the challenges in writing a period piece is acknowledging the racism and sexism in a way that is consistent without completely alienating the modern reader. Without being too spoilery, the artifact that begins the trouble in this story belongs to a demon/god of the Manchu tribe, who was then worshipped in secret after the Manchu took control of the Chinese empire. To me, Hambly acknowledged much of the racism in the 20s in the way the Western characters interacted with various Chinese people, but without engaging in the worst offenses. One clever way this is dealt with is through Christine’s ‘love’ of all things Chinese–although she is confused by Chinese history and why Chinatown “doesn’t have those decorative round gates.” It emphasizes the appropriation of the ‘exotic’ without any real understanding or appreciation.

The plot ends up being rather straightforward, with most of the tension developing as characters gradually recognize and then manage their danger. Hambly keeps events moving, from the beginning movie premiere, to an after party in a cafe/bootlegger’s, to Christine and Norah’s hillside home. It doesn’t take long before a murder occurs and an actor goes missing. Production is whisked off to the desert, partly to escape the press and the rumors, and partly due to script.

I have a quibble or two, which I suspect can be blamed on the Kindle edition. There’s a few rough transitions where I didn’t realize we changed scenes or speakers. I suspect that might have been better understood by visual separation in a paper version, and the Kindle ruined the formatting. Although I don’t usually notice it, there was a misspelling or two in the Kindle as well. On the other side, I enjoyed Hambly’s afterward and note on her dogs. I honestly don’t think I have any other quibbles.

Overall, an immensely satisfying read that went down in a couple of days. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why it came to my attention, but when I recognized the title on a Kindle special, I snapped it up. Thankfully, I can now re-read to my heart’s content without angering the Librarian Gods.

William Shakespeare's Star Wars: Verily, a New Hope

William Shakespeare's Star Wars: Verily, a New Hope
by Ian Doescher

Reviewed by Sesana
Four out of five stars

This is absolutely a book only for people who love Star Wars. But why would you read it if you didn't? You'd also need to have a certain love, or at least appreciation, for Shakespeare. Sure, it's a niche audience, but I'd bet it's a pretty sizable niche. And, astonishingly, Doescher does an admirable job serving that niche.

What I expected going in was that this would essentially be the script of Star Wars, with a lot of "anon"s and "prithee"s thrown in. I wasn't expecting that Doescher would actually rewrite the entire thing in iambic pentameter, creating new lines, new speaking parts, and new monologues where none existed before. Some of these work amazingly well. Like Leia's aside as she grieves for Alderaan. Or, far more fun, the glimpses he gives into the convoluted thought processes of stormtroopers. And of course, the most quoted lines from Star Wars are represented, in altered form.

But Doescher really should have restrained his impulse to write in pastiches of well-known lines and monologues from Shakespeare. I could have lived a long time without reading, "What light through yonder flashing sensor breaks?" I also felt like there were a few too many "anon"s and "aye"s in places where they seemed like they were being included just for color and to keep the iambic pentameter going. And I bet somebody who has studied more Shakespeare than me could find a lot more fault than that.

But is it enjoyable? Of course. I'd pay cash money to see this performed live. There probably isn't a single good reason for this to exist, but does there really have to be?

The World of Downton Abbey

Jessica Fellowes
St. Martin's Press
Reviewed by Nancy
5 out of 5 stars

Summary

A lavish look at the real world--both the secret history and the behind-the-scenes drama--of the spellbinding Emmy Award-winning Masterpiece TV series Downton Abbey

April 1912. The sun is rising behind Downton Abbey, a great and splendid house in a great and splendid park. So secure does it appear that it seems as if the way it represents will last for another thousand years. It won't.

Millions of American viewers were enthralled by the world of Downton Abbey, the mesmerizing TV drama of the aristocratic Crawley family--and their servants--on the verge of dramatic change. On the eve of Season 2 of the TV presentation, this gorgeous book--illustrated with sketches and research from the production team, as well as on-set photographs from both seasons--takes us even deeper into that world, with fresh insights into the story and characters as well as the social history.

My Review

As a huge fan of the Downton Abbey TV series, I was thrilled to find this book beckoning to me from the library’s front desk display.

It’s a lovely book with gorgeous photos and historical information about British life during the World War I era. It shows the contrasts between the wealthy Crawley family and the servants below stairs and goes into detail about the servants’ duties and the hierarchy within the staff. There are also tidbits about the people and places that inspired the series.

There are sections devoted to family life, romance and marriage, house and furnishings, clothing styles, war, and the lives of the servants.

In the section on hunting, there is a description by Ernest King on how he cleaned his master’s hunting clothes:

“From horse and rider perspiring, from a fall in a muddy ditch or field, they can come back in a pretty mess, especially the coat tails. When in this state we would ask the housemaid to save us the contents of the chamber pots, at least a bucketful. It was truly miraculous in getting the dirt out. That was immediately followed, I hasten to add, by brushing with clean water. I’ve often wondered if all the smart and fashionable hunting folk ever knew of the means taken to keep their coats so smartly turned out.”

The last section gives a glimpse behind the scenes – historical details, camera work, hairstyles and makeup, military uniforms and war scenes. At the end is a list of books for further reading.

If you enjoy the series, this is an excellent companion book.

Also posted at Goodreads.

A Perfect Winter Read

The Snow Child
by Eowyn Ivey
Published by Reagan Arthur Books

4 Out of 5 Stars
Reviewed by Amanda

Poignant, melancholy and slow-moving, The Snow Child probably isn't for everyone and I'll admit that it probably would have been a 3 1/2 star if I hadn't read it at such a seasonally appropriate time. With temperatures in the single digits, the wind whipping outside, and my part of the world brought to a halt by the "wintry mix" falling from the sky, this was the perfect book to curl up with and therefore I'm tacking on that extra half star anyway.

Well past middle-age, Jack and Mabel strike out on their own when they move to Alaska in the 1920's. Such an adventure would typically be a young couple's game, but Jack and Mabel are lured to the recently acquired U.S. territory in the hope that it will allow them to leave behind the one great disappointment in their lives: the stillborn child they buried in an orchard back home. Proximity to friends and family who have children of their own means that Jack and Mabel's emotional wound has never fully healed, so they purposefully break away in the hope that they will be drawn closer together and move past their grief.

It's not long, however, before the long, dark Alaskan winters take their toll on the couple. Isolated in their own spheres--Jack in the fields, Mabel in the home--depression and blame begin to settle into an otherwise happy marriage. In a moment of youthful spontaneity, the couple builds a snow child one night and it's not long before they begin to see a young girl, a wild thing at home in the cold and the forest, moving through the woods and causing them to tentatively believe that maybe they've at last been granted a child of their own making.

Based upon a Russian fairy tale, The Snow Child could easily be maddening to those who like definitive answers and clear resolutions. Is the young girl (whose name, we learn, is Faina) an orphaned child, a daughter born of snow and winter come to life, or a figment created from depression and longing? There are no clear answers to these questions, but I don't think they are questions that really matter because, in the end, The Snow Child is about grief and forgiveness.

In her portrayal of Jack and Mabel, Eowyn Ivey gives us the basic template for any marriage: no matter how strong the bond, individual grievances, both real and imagined, can build and fester. Whether or not a couple confronts these grievances determines if the marriage will fall apart or hold together. There's also complexity to the characters. At first, Mabel seems too refined and erudite for survival in the rugged wilderness, while Jack faces both the past and the future with unflinching stoicism. As we're allowed into their interior lives, however, we learn that Mabel has hidden strengths that hold her in good stead and Jack hurts far more than he's willing to admit, lest it render him unable to protect Mabel. Through their relationship with Faina, Jack and Mabel confront the painful past together and are ultimately blessed with the life they believed was well beyond their grasp.