When One Door Opens

J.D. Ruskin
Dreamspinner Press
Reviewed by Nancy
4 out of 5 stars

Summary

Logan Sellers's parole officer has issued three commandments: stay sober, stay employed, and stay out of trouble. At first Logan thought those three simple rules would be easy to follow. But that was before he accepted a side job assisting his boss’s housebound agoraphobic nephew, Caleb.

Caleb is deceptively normal for a guy who hasn't left his apartment in three years, and his friendly, caring personality tugs on heartstrings Logan didn’t know he had. But hitting on his boss’s nephew is asking to be unemployed. Logan has enough problems with booze on every corner and a supervisor trying to jump into his bed. He doesn’t need to work out how to free Caleb from the anxiety that keeps him in his apartment; he needs to keep his nose clean, attend his AA meetings, and make a fresh start—alone.

If only his heart would get with the program.

My Review

I think I may have a mild case of agoraphobia. The last time I experienced a little panic attack was several years ago while I was in Poland. I wanted to go to church and light candles for my close family and friends who passed away while there was no mass in session. But no, my husband’s parents insisted we attend mass. Even though we arrived 5 minutes before mass started, there was a line of people starting to form just outside the door. All the pews and most of the seats were occupied, but we did find just enough room somewhere in the middle. Once we were seated, I let go of that breath I’d been holding. When mass was over and everyone got up to leave, I gradually inched my way to the door until the sea of people was no longer moving. Even with my husband and his parents standing right behind me, I felt totally vulnerable. What if a fire started? What if people got trampled or suffocated? What if someone noticed my flushed cheeks? Suddenly I felt faint and broke out into a sweat. I had a wild urge to start screaming and pushing the people standing in front of me in order to get the crowd moving. We eventually got out and I took many invigorating breaths of cold air. My mother-in-law realized she left her scarf behind and looked in my direction. I shook my head and told her she was on her own. No way was I going back in there.

Caleb’s problem is so much worse. He hasn’t left his apartment in three years, not even when the radiator broke or when he fell in the shower and seriously injured himself. I never really thought about how dangerous this affliction can be until after spending time with Caleb and feeling his fears and anxiety.

Logan has his own issues to deal with. A woman comes on to Logan at a bar and her jealous boyfriend takes a swing at him. Fueled by alcohol and rage, Logan pummels the guy who took a swing at him into the ground along with injuring three unfortunate patrons who tried to restrain him, one of them his best friend, Michael. For that stunt, he spent a year in prison. Now he’s on parole, attending anger management classes and AA meetings. Logan works as a package handler and is trying hard to avoid the temptations of alcohol. A relationship is the last thing he needs, but when he starts his part-time job delivering packages to his boss’ nephew, Caleb, Logan’s resolve begins to crumble.

Caleb is blond, cute, and has a good heart. In spite of his affliction, Caleb is a very strong character. He has a successful web design and editing business and is determined to maintain his independence even if he is unable to leave his apartment. Caleb and Logan are really good together and both are willing to work hard to help each other stay strong as they confront their issues. I loved their humorous banter and their growing connection. The sex scenes were light and infrequent, and though I loved the fact that the emphasis was on the developing relationship, I would have liked to see more buildup of sexual tension. At times, their sex seemed brief and perfunctory. Caleb’s agoraphobia was handled sensitively and felt authentic. I found his progress, struggles and setbacks believable. There is no simple cure and the road to recovery continues to be bumpy. Logan’s struggles were also believable, but I would have liked to see a glimpse of his past and how he came to struggle with alcohol. Much was made of his height, physical strength and dominant behavior, and little of his vulnerable side.

There are lots of wonderful and fully-developed secondary characters. Harrison Klass, the floor manager, and Caleb’s uncle is a man with secrets, guilt and regrets, but he wants what’s best for Caleb. John Dabb is Logan’s parole officer with a penchant for M&M’s and secrets of his own. Stacy is Logan’s AA sponsor and was instrumental in helping him find the right meeting. There was Min and her grandfather of Meng’s Market, who fulfilled Caleb’s grocery orders and the friendly old woman who lives across from Caleb. And there was Logan’s best friend Michael who demonstrated his investigative skills, but got such short shrift in this story.

So why ruin this story with a tiresome, loathsome, one-dimensional villain like Karen Foster? Karen is Logan’s supervisor and the kind of woman everyone loves to hate. She’s a liar, manipulator and a thief who uses sex to further her agenda and makes Logan’s and Caleb’s lives difficult. I know she was there to provide an opportunity for Logan to manage his anger, but I could have done without her and her machinations which did absolutely nothing to enhance the plot. Then again I might have enjoyed this subplot if Karen were a different sort of character.

This is a very well written and cleanly edited story. Despite its flaws, I thoroughly enjoyed it and hope to see more of Caleb and Logan.

Crooked Kingdom

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Kaz Brekker and his crew broke into and escaped from an impenetrable prison. Unfortunately their reward was a double cross. The man who broke his word will wish he never spoke to Kaz because he loves to break people down brick by brick. Limited resources and allies won't stop Kaz and his crew from getting their revenge and the money they're owed.

Crooked Kingdom was a good completion of the Six of Crow storyline. It's rare to see a two book series, but the author pulled it off well. When Kaz's scheming face appears it spells disaster for those who've crossed him.

Like Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom revolves around thievery and friendship. The character I came to like the most through the entire series is Inej. She like the others have done what they must to survive, but Inej still has a level of mercy and kindness to her that make her a strong protagonist. Plus I imagine for the exception of Kaz she suffered the most prior to the series being kidnapped, enslaved, sold as a prostitute, and eventually being unwillingly indentured. I would have imagined her to be as jaded as Kaz, but it never gets near that point for her.

Crooked Kingdom was a good conclusion to an enjoyable story.

3.5 out of 5 stars

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THE BLACK PRINCE BY MICHAEL JONES

The Black Prince: England's Greatest Medieval Warrior by Michael Jones
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

”At six years old he had been created the first duke in English history; at sixteen he had won fame by his bravery at Crecy; at twenty-six he had astounded Europe by capturing King John of France at Poitiers; at thirty-six he had sealed his supremacy as a military leader with his victory at Najera.”

But Edward the Black Prince would never be king.


Edward, The Black Prince

As I’ve been reading about the Plantagenets, a pattern has emerged of weak English Kings being followed by strong English Kings. King Henry III was fairly ineffectual and really only managed to hang onto his throne due to the courage and tactics of his son the future Edward I. Edward would wage effective war on the Welsh and the Scots. He was a commanding presence in height and temperament. His son Edward II was not a chip off the old block and was eventually overthrown by his French wife, Isabella, and her lover, Roger Mortimer. There were rumors that Isabella had her husband murdered by having a hot poker inserted into his arse, a harsh commentary on his preference for the company of men. Edward III at age 17 staged a coup against Mortimer to take back his throne, in more than just name, and had Mortimer hanged. His she-wolf mother was put under house arrest and shuttled about from castle to castle to keep her safely away from influencing the affairs of court.

Edward III proved a very competent king, not only as a ruler but also as a conqueror of France. The English longbow was proving to be a very effective weapon, and he used it to his best advantage. Not to take anything away from Edward III and his strategies, but until I read this book, I had no idea just how important his first born son and heir was going to prove to be in conquering France. The Battle of Crecy is where the Black Prince won his spurs holding the line against terrible odds and, even more astounding, at the tender age of 16. The Battle of Poitiers is where he was even more impressive, taking on a French army at least twice as large as his own and inflicting catastrophic casualties on the French with very few losses on his side. To make the victory absolutely complete, he also captured King John of France.

If the Black Prince had lived to succeed Edward III, I can easily imagine that France would have remained part of England for much longer and, who knows, potentially forever. Thomas Walsingham wrote: ”For while he lived they feared no invasion of the enemy, no onslaught of battle. Nor, in his presence, did they do badly or desert the battlefield. He never attacked a people he did not conquer; he never besieged a city he did not take.”

The pattern of weak king/strong king would have been broken, and the age of chivalry that directed so much of the Prince’s actions would have flowered and been the guiding light of knights of England for another generation. I have to believe that, if he had become Edward IV, his son, the boy made king at age ten, would have certainly had a much better chance to be a better king.


Edward’s Tomb at Canterbury Cathedral

Edward the Black Prince died on June 8th, 1376. King Edward III died July 5th, 1377. Due to the rules of primogentry, Richard is crowned king. Edward III’s second son to survive infancy was Lionel who unfortunately passed at the age of 29, but the candidate I am most interested in is his third son, John of Gaunt. He may have never had the success of his father and brother, and as de facto regent of Richard II, things were not exactly smooth with the nobles, but I feel that putting a man of 37 on the throne instead of a 10 year old boy would make more sense. Because of the illnesses of his father and his older brother, the responsibility of governing had been on John’s shoulders since 1370 anyway.

John’s son Henry would depose Richard II and become Henry IV. Really, Henry had no choice after Richard declared him disinherited and confiscated all of John of Gaunt’s land and wealth.*Sigh* maybe there were just too many royal male Plantagenets with varying degrees of legitimate claims to the throne of England to avoid a conflict. Richard was such a despised and weak king that the script really writes itself.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

There are a few things I want to highlight that speak to the character of the Prince.

First, he pardoned a very important writer. ”He paid 16 pounds toward the ransom of a young squire, a budding poet who had been captured by the French in the small skirmish after the army left Rheims. The man’s name was Geoffrey Chaucer”. All of English literature thanks you, Sir Edward.


Joan, Fair Maid of Kent

Second, he married for love. He was the most eligible bachelor in all of Europe and could have used marriage to form alliances with key allies, but he decided to marry the most lovely woman he had ever met, his cousin, the widowed Joan of Kent. They were completely devoted to one another, and unlike most royalty in similar circumstances, Edward did not keep mistresses. It was part of his code of conduct that supported his devotion to chivalry. The Black Death was on course to kill over a ⅓ of the population of Europe, so with the almost certainty of an early death looming over them, it may have contributed to what would be perceived as a selfish decision.

Third, he gave away so much of his wealth that many of his servants, by his death, were richer than he was. He was certainly searching for a higher idea of how to conduct his life beyond just possessing wealth or the trappings that accompany such riches.


Jean Froissart

The author, Michael Jones, relies heavily on the writings of Jean Froissart, a contemporary of the time, who for the most part seemed to try as best he could to tell the truth of the times without the bias of an affiliation with a country. I have not read Froissart’s writings, but will certainly be investigating him in the near future. The style of this book reads like a novel and brings the Black Prince alive, as well as the contemporary figures who permeated his life. The Castile campaign, when he put the odious Pedro back on the throne, showed how his sense of obligation (ill advised treaty) could sometimes overrule his own ideals. He wasn’t perfect, but certainly his early death was a lost opportunity for England. ”The Black Prince was a shooting star in the medieval firmament. His martial endeavour, his courage, and the full living of a chivalric life entranced his age--and, if we properly restore his military reputation, it can also fascinate our own.”

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Singing the Praises of Jeeves

Jeeves & the Song of Songs by P.G. Wodehouse
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It's deja vu all over again!

Once I got going I soon realized I'd read this before. Not specifically this book, but the stories within it. You see, Jeeves & the Song of Songs is also "Jeeves & the Song of Songs", which is to say it is the title of a book and the title of a story. In the case of this book, it is the titular story, and it kicks off a bevy of solid stories in the Jeeves & Wooster line.


"Jeeves & the Song of Songs" - Bertie Wooster is embroiled in an old chum's romance. Too much of the same song proves its undoing, perhaps for the best. This little number is a classic and was included in the Hugh Laurie/Stephen Fry tv version of Jeeves & Wooster.

"Indian Summer of an Uncle" - One of Bertie's uncles is about to make an ass of himself matrimonially speaking and Bertie's been tasked with putting an end to it. This is one time where Wodehouse treads a bit rough on class distinction. Irregardless, it's not one of his best.

"Jeeves and the Kid Clementina" - Bertie has a thing for Bobbie Wickham and tries to do a good deed for her at a girls' prep school. Doing good deeds for others never does Bertie any good. Things fall apart, as per usual. This is Wodehouse in classic form and this story sets the parameters used in a number of his full-length books.

"The Inferiority Complex of Old Sippy" - An old pal has no backbone, so Bertie hatches up a scheme to get him his just desserts. Bertie ought to know by now that it's best to let Jeeves come up with the schemes, but alas, all goes amiss and Jeeves must tidy it up in the end. I think this might be the only story in this collection which I hadn't read before. It's not bad!

"Jeeves and the Impending Doom" - One of Bertie awful aunts is covertly trying to hook him up with a job he doesn't want when she invites him over to the house. A friend of Bertie's is trying to keep a job with Bertie's aunt that he doesn't like but needs, and Bertie must help him keep it by keeping safe the unpleasant blighter who the aunt is trying to secure Bertie's job with. Make sense? No? Welcome to the world of Wodehouse!

"Jeeves and the Yuletide Spirit" - Jeeves is looking forward to a trip to Monte Carlo. Bertie is thinking about marriage to that Bobbie Wickham gal. Jeeves realizes how unsuitable the match would be well before Bertie figures it out, and goes to great lengths to make his master see the light. Jeeves inevitably saves the day in all these stories, but seldom does he long for anything more than for Bertie to dress more conservatively. It's nice to see a little personal desire out of the man.

All in all, Jeeves & the Song of Songs puts together a very solid collection of Wodehouse shorts. I'm a big Jeeves & Wooster fan, so I didn't mind the reread and was happy to find at least one new one herein. This would make a good primer for the newcomer!

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A Letdown at Blandings

A Pelican at Blandings by P.G. Wodehouse
Reviewed by Jason Koivu
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

A Pelican at Blandings, the 11th book in the Blandings Castle series, was a big disappointment for me. I always expect P.G. Wodehouse to buck me up with his humor, but this one lacked the funny.

It's typically Wodehousian in its convoluted plot, but the writing feels dull. I have a tendency to blame the author's mounting years, after all he was about 88 when he wrote this, however he did go on to write another half dozen or so novels, and the one or two I've read were much better than this.

No, the problem is that this feels more like one of his early works where romance tended to trump comedy. The plot is fine, but the comedic edge is missing. There's too much exposition all together, but also redundant explanations, especially in the dialogue, which in other books Wodehouse was smart to gloss over. Sure it's important to keep your readers abreast of the action, but at some point you need to be aware not to beat them over the head with it.

Ah well, I still have about 40 or 50 more Wodehouses to read. I'm sure I'll better another good one in there somewhere!

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C is for Cthulhu

C is for Cthulhu: The Lovecraft Alphabet Book by Jason Ciaramella
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

C is for Cthulhu is an alphabet book for kids. There is a page for each letter of the alphabet and artwork and a little snippet of prose depicting a character, place, or feature from the Cthulhu Mythos whose name begins with that letter. I think you get the idea.

I got this for being a Kickstarter backer for Sweet Dreams, Cthulhu, an upcoming kids book, and it is pretty damn sweet.

The artwork is spectacular, cute but still somewhat disturbing. The thing the artwork most reminds me of is Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Almost all of my favorite Lovecraftian beasties are well represented. From Abdul Al-Hazred to Zombies, the artwork knocks it out of the park. If I had to pick three favorite illustrations, they would be Black Goat with a Thousand Young, Hastur, and Shoggoth.




This particular digital version also includes unused concept art and some new art that had to be created for foreign editions.

I couldn't be more delighted with this book. If you want to start blasting some youngster's sanity at an early age, I couldn't think of a better place to start. Five out of five stars.

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Freedom

Jay Kirkpatrick
Dreamspinner Press
Reviewed by Nancy
5 out of 5 stars

Summary

In a future Earth, Patrick Harvey, newly promoted Class One Empath, dreams of the independence his position brings and the apartment he’s saving for. His first solo assignment is treating John Doe 439, a man found outside the city, battered, traumatized, and apparently mute.

Despite a strong taboo against Empaths forging romantic relationships, Patrick realizes he feels a strong attraction to his patient. Soon he learns the man is a high-level Psychic Talent named Jac. Then Jac reveals that there are abusive people hunting him for his gifts, and Patrick’s uncomplicated world explodes.

Jac needs to meet up with his companions and flee the city before anyone else can find him—but it may be too late. Word of Jac’s talents has leaked to Central Government in Chicago. If Jac wants to retain his freedom, he needs to run—now. And if Patrick wants to explore a relationship his society tells him he can’t have, he’ll have to exchange the safe fetters of his job for the uncertainty of liberty.

My Review

While I’m not one to judge a book by its cover, it makes me very happy when the cover is directly relevant to the story and characters within and captures their essence so perfectly. Just one glance at the cover and I knew that life would not be easy for Patrick, Jac and other sensitive individuals possessing empathic abilities.

Patrick Harvey’s abilities were sufficient enough to land him a position in the Empath Center. Even though he misses his friends, he feels lucky to live a comfortable life and not have to endure the subsistence living conditions of the Outside, on the outskirts of New Las Vegas. His first and most challenging assignment is treating Jac, a man who has endured so much emotional pain and trauma that his mind is a chaotic jumble and he is unable to communicate. Patrick uses his empathy to gain his trust and learn the source of his suffering. It takes a bit of time, as Patrick learns that Jac deeply distrusts the white uniforms of the Empath Center staff. The more he discovers about Jac, his friends and family, his strong empathic abilities, and a life totally different from anything Patrick ever knew, the more he begins to question his own life and values. 

The first part of the story, Confinement, was about Jac’s treatment at the Empath Center. There were glimpses into Patrick’s life, his friendships and his work. A vibrant cast of characters is introduced, and Jac’s talents are revealed. Though pain and desperation permeates the first half, making it intense reading, I was gripped right from the start and fell in love with Patrick and Jac. The second part, Escape, is told in multiple viewpoints, is fast-paced with much less emphasis on Jac’s and Patrick’s developing relationship and more on their relationship with their friends, their growth and change. Escape is not easy and Patrick and Jac really have their work cut out for them. Jac’s talent makes him attractive to his enemies, who just want to break him. Thanks to their supportive friends who have a desire to build a strong sense of community, there is hope for those with talents.

If you like thoughtful science fiction in a dystopian setting, well-drawn, strong and diverse characters, intense emotions and an engaging plot, then look no further. 

This is the first novel by Jay Kirkpatrick and I certainly hope it won’t be the last.

Six of Crows

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A foreign scientist has developed a drug that makes people with powers become super powered. The downfall is they become badly addicted as the drug leaves them in shambles. The scientist has been captured and a merchant from Ketterdam wants him rescued. He hires the criminal Kaz Brekker with the promise of a ridiculous amount of money. Kaz pulls together an eclectic group to pull off the seemingly impossible heist.

Six of Crows is a story of thievery and companionship. All the familiar heist aspects are present. The criminal mastermind that frequently makes the possible impossible. His varied crew including a spy, a gunner, a powered person, an explosives man, and a reluctant participant. Six of Crows would hardly be accused of being overly original, but it's characters are excellent. The author made six fully developed characters to care about and wondering what would happen to them next kept me reading.

The story is a young adult novel so the normal tropes were readily seen. There were complicated relationships and all the characters were teenagers. I always have a hard time imagining a bunch of teens being capable of doing remarkable things, but they didn't constantly behave like teenagers which helped.

Six of Crows was a solid book, but I don't know if I enjoyed it enough to see what happens next in the series.

3.5 out of 5 stars


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THE NASTY BITS BY ANTHONY BOURDAIN

The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones by Anthony Bourdain
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

***RIP Anthony Bourdain 1956-2018***

”Eating well, on the other hand, is about submission. It’s about giving up all vestiges of control, about entrusting your fate entirely to someone else. It’s about turning off the mean, manipulative, calculating, and shrewd person inside you, and slipping heedlessly into a new experience as if it were a warm bath. It’s about shutting down the radar and letting good things happen. When that happens to a professional chef, it’s a rare and beautiful thing.

Let it happen to you.”



Anthony Bourdain took his own life on June 8th, 2018, in the Le Chambard Hotel in Kaysersberg-Vignoble, Haut-Rhin, France. When I heard the news, I was shocked, and then I was surprised that I was shocked. I’ve been following Bourdain’s career since his show No Reservations launched on the Travel Channel. I even watched the shorter lived Layover, but where he really put his best work together was when he moved to CNN and launched Parts Unknown. I gleefully read his first book Kitchen Confidential and came away from that reading thinking I should have been a CHEF. They seemed to be the epitome of cool! I can only imagine how many people have been inspired to try to make a living in the food industry after reading Bourdain’s incendiary book. In the 1980s, chefs started to become rock stars, and Bourdain rode that wave of expanded interest better than just about anyone. He was bright, witty, sarcastic, unafraid of the camera, and even willing to be embarrassed to give his audience more entertainment value.

Sometimes we just winced.

He was acerbic, mean spirited, world weary, kind, thoughtful, and honest about his true beliefs. Certainly, there was a part of me that wanted to be him because his life seemed so free, so uninhibited, so epically fulfilling. Like some medieval maps though, there were parts of his life labelled... here be dragons, here be demons.

He’d been a junkie, a petty thief, a man of uncertain character. His story was one of remarkable self renewal, a rediscovery of purpose. A phoenix rising from the ashes.

The demons in his head had never left. They were in a dark corner of his brain doing push ups, lifting barbells, hitting punching bags, skipping rope, getting ready for the moment when someone leaves the gate unlocked.

This book is a collection of essays, all originally published prior to 2006, that Bourdain had written mostly for magazine publication. In these short pieces, he was angry at one moment and exuberant in the next. He was mad at obese people taking up too much space on a subway or a plane. He was dismissive of other celebrity chefs. As expected he shared the details of wonderful meals he had eaten in exquisite, mouth watering detail. He instructed us on how to interact with the wait staff at restaurants and believe me some people need some help with this. He tried to eviscerate food in Las Vegas, but soon learned to appreciate it with grudging respect. Anthony Bourdain was a lot of things, but he was not a snob.

He loved Vietnamese food and admitted that great Vietnamese food can be found all over the world, but the rapture of eating pho or bun cha on a cheap plastic stool in the street is a whole different experience. ”But Vietnamese food in Vietnam, when outside the window it’s Hanoi--a slice of an apartment building with faded, peeling facade just visible across the street; women hanging out laundry; the chatter of noodle and fruit vendors coming from one flight down; the high, throaty vibrations of countless motorbikes…” All of that natural gritty ambiance added to the eating experience.

I always say books are never just books, and food certainly is never just food. Once I’ve experienced great food in a country and I taste it again, even at my own dinner table, the memories of eating that dish in Scotland, San Francisco, Budapest, Paris, Rome, Prague, or New York still haunt my tongue and elevate my enjoyment of that food beyond just the flavors and spices that make it great.

Being the book crazed fiend that I am, I appreciated, almost as much as his talent with expanding my palate and making foreign climates accessible, his great love for books. He mentioned his favorite books at several points in these essays, but I’ve also seen him talk about his love of books in interviews and as segments during the filming of his TV shows. Here are just a few I’ve seen mentioned:

Ways of Escape and The Quiet American by Graham Greene
Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell
The Kitchen by Nicolas Freeling
The Belly of Paris by Emile Zola
Flash in the Pan by David Blum
Stoner by John Williams
True Grit by Charles Portis
Between Meals by A. J. Liebling
The Devil all the Time by Donald Ray Pollock
The Works of Daniel Woodrell
The Works of William T. Vollman
The Works of Ross MacDonald.

Bourdain was, without a doubt, a serious, dedicated reader.



While reading this book, every time he says something like ”Every day that Gabrielle Hamilton (owner of the restaurant Prune and author of Blood, Bones, and Butter) likes me? It’s reason to live” or he reacts to something by saying that it is worth hanging yourself in a hotel shower, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I watched the eight episodes of season eight of Parts Unknown this weekend, and sprinkled throughout those episodes are several moments where he says, ”It’s a reason to live,” which of course carried a poignancy, knowing that on June 8th, 2018, he had run out of reasons to live.

I’ve heard psychologists discuss the signs of suicide, but those signs could be applied to just about everyone I know. As a nation, we are so unhappy and stressed out of our minds that it shouldn’t be a surprise to us that the suicide rates have reached epidemic proportions. On average, there are 121 suicides a day in the United States. If 121 people a day were dying from say Avian Flu, we would be freaking out. I’m sure all of those people showed “signs.” I’m sure I show signs on a weekly basis, like every time I look at my TBR stacks, but I would be equally depressed if I didn’t have stacks of books waiting TBR, as well.

I can always count on books being a reason to live.

Anthony was in a dark place for the few days before he killed himself, but he was routinely depressed. So how do any of us know what THE sign is? How do we gauge the point with which a friend or family member has reached the tipping point?

Anthony Bourdain’s suicide seemed so impulsive. What if he had been able to wait just one more day? I have no doubt that he had planned it, thought about it, considered it many times over his lifetime, so like a good sous chef, I would bet he had done his prep work. For all his brash, prickly exterior, it was evident to those of us who have followed his career for a long time that all of that toughness was just a shell hiding the kind, gentle soul beneath. There was more than a bit of the romantic poet in him, maybe more Byron than Shelley. He could be a harsh critic, especially on himself. In the closing pages of this book, he criticized each of these articles and explained some of the external and internal forces that were conspiring to influence his writing at the time. He offset the cynical, seen-it-all attitude with a lyrical, jubilant, almost boyish awe of those he admired, whether they be a chef, a writer, a painter, a musician, a taxi driver, a bartender, or a Mexican dish washer.

I haven’t forgiven him yet.

His mother, in an interview after his suicide, said, “He had everything. Success beyond his wildest dreams. Money beyond his wildest dreams.” I can feel the confusion and anger in his mother’s words. It is selfish for me to be angry at him, but I am. I needed him out there flailing away at the world and being at least one bastion of sensible truth against the Left, the Right, and the preconceived notions of small minds.



He took joy in being wrong about a place or a person, especially when he found out a place he had dismissed had hidden gems or a person he had dissed had hidden depths. The way he saw the world was frankly inspiring.

A person might first watch his show for the travel or the food, but once hooked, they kept watching for the insights into foreign cultures, the real people, the commentary on global politics, the philosophy about living a good life, and the friendships that are available to all of us if we are open to having them.

He gave us hope for what our life could be.

Did we fail you, Tony? Did we disappoint you?

My compass might be spinning, but I’ll eventually get it locked back into due North again. What else can I do?

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The Soldier (Rise of the Jain #1) By: Neal Asher

The Soldier by Neal Asher
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I haven't read alot of Mr Asher's work, but I do know most of what he writes is in my "wheelhouse" lots of wild ideas, interesting worldbuilding and tons of action.

The Soldier, which is the start of a new set of books, delivers that. It is a 10000 miles a second. It has a ton of the boom in it and it rips along. You always win me over with the weird and outlandish science...so its a good time and a fast read.

That being said, I dock it one star, due for the fact for all the shooting and zooming and booming, the story came across a bit thin, granted this might be because its part one..so I am taking that with a grain of salt.

All in all.......if you are fan of military scifi, and have NOT read Neal Asher ...pick it up

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